Comments on: Faitherhood – Hell, Hugs, and Humps

By: non-hugger

non-hugger — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 12:46:50 +0000

I just have to comment. When you force hugs on others at church, you are not acting with God’s love. I am female and I just cannot feel neutral about being hugged by a man. I want my hugs from my husband and my family. I will tolerate a few from close female friends, otherwise, count me out.

By: Johnny Laird

Johnny Laird — Mon, 21 May 2007 13:54:13 +0000

Gotta be hugs 4 me & my little peeps. My Mia & Noah are adorable, so I can’t resist huggin’ & kissin’ them at every opportunity. Same for my lovely wife, Janet.

When it comes to hugging other folks it just depends who:

If it’s a formal handshaker, I’ll go with the shake.

If it’s a handshake, then a thumb grip, I’ll go with that.

Big old hug, I’ll reciprocate.

The most fun is when you hit a non-hugger with a giantic grizzly hug. Watch ‘em squirm!

Peace & Blessings

By: Dawn Carter

Dawn Carter — Sun, 20 May 2007 06:07:41 +0000

i must be totally missing the connection you’re making between not enjoying hugging and being negative about one’s kids / kids in general and raining on another parent’s optimism (which is just kinda rude).

i’m married to a total non-hugger (common introvert thing that we extroverts tend to misunderstand) who adores his kids and would never try to squelch another parent’s infatuation with their kids.

sounds like you just met a crabby non-hugger. they’re not all that bad.

By: Mikko Sivonen

Mikko Sivonen — Sat, 19 May 2007 05:11:54 +0000

Finnish men do not hug! I have learnt to love it over last 10 years. Now moving back to Finland, it makes life interesting. I start giving a hug and they start taking steps backwards…and sometimes stumble. Hugs rule!

By: Jackie

Jackie — Fri, 18 May 2007 02:17:12 +0000

Denise, you are SO RIGHT! I get the same thing from people when they find out I have seven kids. My oldest ones are almost 16 and 14 and they are GREAT kids. I love them. They’re respectful. They love the Lord.

I think teenagers get a bad wrap because all you ever hear is how awful they are. I think we write the script of expectation for them and wait for them to follow it, when in reality teenagers can offer so much!

By: Denise C.

Denise C. — Thu, 17 May 2007 23:50:34 +0000

Personally, it’s really tough for me to combat a person’s negativity about motherhood and overall parenting. I’ve had people express complete disgust over the fact that I have the amount of chil’rens that I do…I’ve had them wrinkle up their nose that they were smelling a caca mustache and tell me, “Oh, you POOR THING.” or “Better you than me!” or “You are probably EXHAUSTED” oh and “Do you EVER have any time to yourself? You probably NEVER get to go anywhere!” and my favorite, “UGH, you have FIVE BOYS I feel sorry for you!!” Like they are a tribe of diseased lepers or something. GEEZ, people. Whatever happened to “children are a blessing from the Lord”? Yes, remind me of that scripture when I am barking orders at my kids or wiping what seems like the hundredth crap diaper of the day. And I think THAT is why I have a hard time with people with bad attitudes about children…yes, it is TOUGH, yes it is a sacrifice and YES, sometimes our children don’t come out the way we’d like them to. But still, have some hope, be encouraging, offer wise advice–gimme somethin’! I am really looking forward to sowing what I have been reaping all these years. People with sour faces about how their children turned out or about children in general just drain me. I really, really don’t want to be that kind of person.

P.S. I always did wonder how the heck you got to Flip Flops so fast.

By: FERMIN-DAD

FERMIN-DAD — Thu, 17 May 2007 19:26:20 +0000

I remember the last hug I received from my DAD before he went to be with the Lord. With all the energy, in the hospital, I reached down and hugged him. Three hours later I received word that he had died. Society has so many “do not” we at times appear to be uncaring. I will never forget the last hug! It was special. With MOM, I was speeding on I-5 south of Santa Clarita, driving from Fresno to see her, when I received the call that she had died. Although I was sad, I continue to remember the many hugs received as her son over the years. Hugs are special!

By: alicia

alicia — Thu, 17 May 2007 07:50:09 +0000

Growing up with 3 sisters – my poor dad. Yeah, we all reached the stage when we would pull away from his hugs because it was “embarassing” – but it didn’t stop him from doing it. And then we became either huggers or non-huggers. Of which I am the latter. So you just keep on hugging and see what you end up with.

By the way – I am the one that tries to run from those “huggers” – what you described is so true.

By: Brandi

Brandi — Thu, 17 May 2007 06:14:00 +0000

Don’t listen to anyone, just keep doing, the best you know how. You won’t be perfect–but even if you were, they still wouldn’t be.

When I tell people I have a 16 year old boy they look to the heavens and say “Oh you poor thing!”, not knowing how blessed I am by his almost daily expression of love toward me and respect and compassion toward others. He is a goof and a dummy, but he does the best he can with all odds stacked against him. Yours have a discernable advantage, and for this you should have hope.

By: S. Pihlaja

S. Pihlaja — Thu, 17 May 2007 01:49:34 +0000

Look, I’m new to the game, but I have to say, what people tell me and how it actually is? Totally different. There are a lot of pessimists out there. I think it’s all outlook and that two people can have the exact same experience: one will bitch and moan and tell everyone else how miserable it is, and one will tell you that it was a blessing and the joy they experienced. I choose the optimism train.