The drought in Atlanta got sooooooo bad that most people started using the oral flush method, which required only 8 oz of water one set of powerful lungs.
Supplies needed to, like, totally jack up the plumbing in your high school, workplace, or down at the DMV:
10. Thumb (preferrably opposable)
11. Toilet seat cover (not fuzzy)
12. Toilet bowl, exterior
13. Y pipe
14. Toilet bowl, interior
15. Pipe, straight
16. Mouth (teeth and tongue perferred, but not necessary)
19. Polymer tubing, straight
20. Polymer tubing, bendy
21. More Polymer tubing, straight
25. Trapway (yep, we know all about toilets)
26. Toilet bowl, interior — wait, we already said that
27. Weir (again, our knowledge of toilets is deep)
*Understanding of rudimentary sequential numbering is not necessary (or even recommended) for reading this chart.
**For maximum effect and so as not to raise suspicion, comfortable dress shoes, a conservative haircut, and a golf shirt are recommended for carrying out this operation.
When you’ve gathered these supplies, proceed to Step 1.
“College students invent the “Power-Bong” at local university.”
“Dude, we flushed the drugs when the cops came. How do we get them back? Wait…I have an idea!”
“Asthma got you down?”
“How to cope when you’re plunger is broken.”
“They say its better to be pissed OFF than pissed ON. But what about pissed IN?”
“Are you tired of cleaning up vomit after your nights out? Well try the new ‘Insta-hurl’ by Ronco! Just put your mouth at #16 when those Jello shots get the best of you and POOF – NO MORE MESSY CLEAN UP!”
RAIN IT DOWN
Don’t breathe in.
Cruel and Unusual Punishment.
-cD
IKEA has the strangest instructions.
“Want a raise???? No need to be a Brown Noser anymore! Just Stick and Suck try our product!”
YUK!!!…Where do you find this stuff???
“If you want the good fertilizer material, you have to get the hose down in there reeeal deep.”
or
“Are you sure this is the last test I need to complete for my SCUBA certification?”
ATLANTA (AP) – Georgia residents brace themselves for a record drought.
Oooh, one more…
“If you think this is bad, you should see steps 1-9.”
And I’m done…
The drought in Atlanta got sooooooo bad that most people started using the oral flush method, which required only 8 oz of water one set of powerful lungs.
“Toilet Water. Quench your thirst.”
or
“Thirsty? Why wait?”
PS – Where in the world do you find this stuff?
“Save money on a plumber with this new plunger technique!”
or plain ‘ol
“DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!”
Potty…the other white drink?
The LA ink video is awesome. You have a beautiful family. You have such a wonderful story. God Bless!!
This is how everybody will be doing it in the future
Rinse & Spit
“The Anally Retentive Vomiter”
“Build your own toilet bong in 27 easy steps”
Kiss of life.
S.O.L.
Sorry. Couldn’t resist.
Bob takes home brewing to a whole new level.
Siphoning 101
TURN YOUR HOME’S PLUMBING SYSTEM INTO A GIANT DIDGERIDOO!!
Place microphones at points 11 and 15.
“This job sucks!”
what is it the dog likes so much about this water??!!
“You think you day was shitty”
I’m too busy thinking of what steps 1-9 would be. :>/
C
As a result of President Obama’s new Water Use Tax, Americans are investigating alternative methods of waste disposal.
(think I’m kidding?)
Rinse and repeat until desired effect is achieved
Homeland Security’s latest instructions in case of a chemical attack and you don’t have duct tape on the windows
Captain, shes gonna blow!
The officer said do it or he would taser me.
Pharmaceutical companies cringe as consumers discover an amazing new non-medical approach to asthma attacks
For those really bad farts…
1. for a sustained high note, breathe in through the nose and out, forcefully, from the diaphragm.
2. when using your new Standard 1 Gallon Flush Hookah Conversion kit, make sure your Acme Flavored Tobacco and lighter are within reach.
3. Not intended for illegal use.
4. Not intended for sale to minors.
what a potty mouth!
Not a caption, but a question: where in this diagram are #1 and #2?
this is the strangest paint by number I’ve ever seen.
Next season on Dirty Jobs…
Supplies needed to, like, totally jack up the plumbing in your high school, workplace, or down at the DMV:
10. Thumb (preferrably opposable)
11. Toilet seat cover (not fuzzy)
12. Toilet bowl, exterior
13. Y pipe
14. Toilet bowl, interior
15. Pipe, straight
16. Mouth (teeth and tongue perferred, but not necessary)
19. Polymer tubing, straight
20. Polymer tubing, bendy
21. More Polymer tubing, straight
25. Trapway (yep, we know all about toilets)
26. Toilet bowl, interior — wait, we already said that
27. Weir (again, our knowledge of toilets is deep)
*Understanding of rudimentary sequential numbering is not necessary (or even recommended) for reading this chart.
**For maximum effect and so as not to raise suspicion, comfortable dress shoes, a conservative haircut, and a golf shirt are recommended for carrying out this operation.
When you’ve gathered these supplies, proceed to Step 1.
“Toilet Water….tastier than you think”
“Meth is sooooooo 2007″
“Tootie Juice. 100% Tootie. 100% Delicious”
“College students invent the “Power-Bong” at local university.”
“Dude, we flushed the drugs when the cops came. How do we get them back? Wait…I have an idea!”
“Asthma got you down?”
“How to cope when you’re plunger is broken.”
“They say its better to be pissed OFF than pissed ON. But what about pissed IN?”
“Are you tired of cleaning up vomit after your nights out? Well try the new ‘Insta-hurl’ by Ronco! Just put your mouth at #16 when those Jello shots get the best of you and POOF – NO MORE MESSY CLEAN UP!”
“Not what I had in mind when I took this job.”
“It’s your duty!”
what can brown do for you?
One more, “The new scuba training gear by Roto-Rooter!”
Jobs That Suck.
Okay, last one. “Its the new and improved Redneck Keg!”
Have you ever spit your gum out in the john only to realize you really, really still wanted it?
The latest suburban teenager trend: toilet water bongs
“I knew I should have used the bathroom at work!”
Los: “I just miss that LA air!”
where do you find things like this? i can’t even compete with the previously mentioned captions. so funny. omg.
“global warming”
“honey, don’t call the plumber, i can fix it”
“go, go gadget toilet plunger”
“next week on fear factor…”
“you might be a redneck if…”
With new water-powered cars siphoning fuel takes a whole new approach.
Will whoever is down there stop tickling me!!!!
“I think 12 is your limit! That’s not the beer bong!”
Unable to start his Geo Tracker and not all that bright to begin with, Larry attempts to siphon the wrong kind of gas.
I vote for Carolyn…
“What can brown do for you”. Pretty good.
And my contribution:
“You Might Be a Redneck If….”
Sorry Crystal, didn’t realize I stole your quote. Clearly, I have nothing to add to the discussion. I’m ashamed.
Wow! If this is steps 10-27, I’d hate to see what steps 1-9 are!!
What can Brown do for you?
What happens in the toilet, stays in the toilet.
“Oral Diarrhea?”
ABSOLUT S*#T
“No,no, Blow it out your PIE hole, not your BANO`”
“Ground Control to Major Turd…”
What kind of bird sound will this make?