The Super Christian Evil Eye
I am the Service Programming Director.
I am Producer.
I get paid to notice everything.
Every bad note. Every botched transition. Every XYZPDQ.
I liken myself to the church world version of P.Diddy.
I’ll pop in for the cameo when needed but mostly I’m just sittin’ back, findin’ talent, and throwin’ billz..
OK. Maybe not.
But none the less, I am consistently aware of everything around me as I try to make it better.
So today I actually “attended” the 11 AM service with my parents who are in from the West Side.
About five minutes into the message Andy is throwin’ down. I mean I am getting slammed left and right.
My Lack of Faith…My Agenda vs. His Agenda…My Pitiful Desire For A Small God.
Then about the time I think this is MY MESSAGE. FOR ME!!! I begin to hear a slight whisper behind me.
It gets louder and more frequent. I am getting pissed. The whisperer obviously has little if no regard for the people around her.
This Message Is For Me And You Are Ruining It Lady!!!
I wait for the right moment. I was going to start with the “super Christian evil eye.” She was going to feel it pierce her heart and shut it.
I began to turn my head when I saw her lean hard to her right and begin whispering loudly again. She was whispering into the ear of a woman who looked just like her.
But older.
Age was worn all over her skin. She was staring right at the center screen. Piercing the digiandy.
The whispering woman kept whispering. She was speaking with purpose. Speaking into her mother’s ear. Speaking another language.
Translating everything Andy said with a sense of urgency and hope that the words would somehow get from her mothers ear to her heart.
And my need to hear a message grew smaller than her need to whisper eternity into her mothers ears.
Los
RAIN IT DOWN
Hey ‘los…thanks for being so transparent and real….it is so refreshing….one day I want to grow up and be just like you…………………….
“And my need to hear a message grew smaller than her need to whisper eternity into her mothers ears.
“Hey Carlos…Produce That”
-God”
loved this….sniff. and loved the poem earlier too….ouch. it’s been a full week for you. glad i’m not the only one.
(oh yeah, i give up…. what’s a digiandy?)
Awesome, unbelievable .. you had me .. I thought you were about to eject someone to the foyer … wow.
digiandy – digital form of Andy Stanley on the center screen
Wow.. thanks for your honesty. That was encouraging…
Wow. That’s deep. Thanks for being so real wit it. That’s so something I would have done and then I probably would have felt like crap once I realized what was going on.
that gave me a smile! thanks
Loved this… I get worked up by distractions in the same way and am ready to bring the hammer down just to find out it’s not about me. What a great picture you painted.
btw – that color looks great on you…AND Susanne too.
So my husband and I are in this debate right now…can you clear it up? Do bald guys shave their heads everyday like with a bic? Because I think they do, and Daniel thinks they do not because of the hassle and the possible nicks. I think that once you start there is no turning back and that it probably gets easier and you get the feel of your own head. So that is what I think. What do you think?
funny that you mentioned this since I was sitting on the other side of you and I couldn’t help but notice it too, yet we never discussed it. (You know me, Miss Sensitive to Noise) I got ticked at first too. I kept thinking .. hey lady, what’s so important that it can’t wait? But then I noticed the rhythm of her speech and slowly I caught on that she was interrupting what Andy was saying. So, slap my hand, I felt the conviction too. My first judgement was wrong.
I’ve been there…thanks for the honesty.
awesome post!
WOAH! Talk about a God-sized smack down. I love how God chooses to find annoying things to make us pay attention to what’s important. Thanks for your transparency.
guilty.
Great word Los.
I can see your church next week. Set up like the UN. With all sorts of translators circling the room and people with small ear pieces listening to the words of another in their own language.
Get r done!
one of the college students at our church whispers the words to the worship songs in her father’s native-born-ukrainian ears.
she used to sing and play violin in our praise team. but she’s in college now and, since her parents have been attending, she’s been in the pew with them…
it makes me wanna melt.
i love this post…its beautiful!
and that pic says you belong on Monday Night Football in the announcers booth…i think you would rock it!…mike.
Why you gotta make me tear up when I think I’m reading a funny post!!?
Dude I just landed on your blog and started reading, chuckle, read some more chuckle, it’s good. It’s funny,and yet deep and to the point. you are cracken me up. Talent is in the building! Ok peace out, and props to ya.