Answer This
Today, how can you honor someone who has dishonored you?
Carlos
*
If you enjoyed this post make sure you subscribe to My RSS Feed
Today, how can you honor someone who has dishonored you?
Carlos
*If you enjoyed this post make sure you subscribe to My RSS Feed
RAIN IT DOWN
Knock on the door and RUN RUN RUN like never before!!!!!
You can try and live above the dishonoring conduct. Reaching out to that person and trying your best to repair the connection. I am trying to maintain a relationship at work with a person who dishonors me on a weekly basis. I am trying my best not to fly off the handle with this person and show them the respect and care that I would like to have, but it is hard man. Sometimes I just want to RAGE!!! I know that if I do go into a rage I will dishonor God, myself, and possibly create collateral damage.
i don’t like to think of it that way, but i had lunch with him on monday. and much blessing came from it – to both of us.
Wow, that literally stopped me in my tracks.
Well, I technically wasn’t walking when I checked the blog… you know what I mean.
That’s heavy!
I’m going to chew on that one a while!
Thanks!
Link to them
Serve that person in osme way.
It’s quite ironic that I read this site today because I am struggling big time with honoring someone who, like the post above, dishonors me on a daily basis. My boss is the Judge, Jury, and Trial and I’m supposed to just deal with it. It’s harder knowing that he couldn’t care less if I quit today. I’m not sure I want to repair this relationship and just tell him where to go, but what do I gain from that?
This just happened to me. She called and apologized. I accepted and wished her well in her endeavors. But I secretly want to name my rug after her. “Honey, can you take Suzy out and beat her?”
buy them a pepsi.
mow their yard.
shave their dog.
The same way you honor someone who has not dishonored you. Love them. Respect them. Starbucks gift card? Best thing let them know they have. Help them help you.
Maintain Dignity and Self Respect. Don’t stoop down to their level by fighting fire with fire. In other words, kill em with kindness.
Romans 12:20
If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this you will heap burning coals upon his head.
several years ago I worked with homeless kids. Iw ould walk the streets, alley’s search abandoned buildings etc in the middle of the night looking for kids on the street to try and help them get off the street. One kid in particular would treat me terribly, no matter how much I did for him he would call me every name in the book, names I wouldn’t dare type…one night I was fed up and begged of God that I could just retaliate or do something…and the next morning i read this passage. it then became my goal to heap burning coals upon his head…
know what will bless them . . . then do it. kill ‘em with kindness. golden rule . . . all easier to type than do. the love in is the doing!
Love them as you do yourself. Take the first step toward reconciliation. You know, all that stuff in the New Testament. It works.
Something interesting occurred to me. With regards to this and jerks around the world… Some (not all) of the greatest people I’ve met have been paired up with someone with a sandpaper-like personality. Irritating, selfish, controlling, disrespectful… etc.. It can produce a polar dynamic.
God currently has me working with “Mrs. Steamroller”. Praying for her (hourly) is helping me to realize that it’s He who changes hearts. I still want to TP her house tho. I’ve got to learn how to lovingly confront…
kind of an obvious answer, but pray for them.
Don’t raise the issue, unless it needs raising. Respond in proportion to what they’ve done. Act with kindness and love.
Another obvious one – forgive them. Really, truly forgive them. Sometimes if what they’ve done is bad enough, it’s a choice you have to make on a daily basis.
Sometimes I feel that by not saying anything and just go on like nothing has happen – you are giving them permission to continue treating you the same way. I still feel disrespected, even though things are much much better now. Wow, maybe I need counseling.
I took this kind of a different way – took it as an assignment to honor someone today (like right now), to take action. So I honored someone that has caused me much heart ache and grief in my life. I sent a card to my pops thanking him for being my dad and for everything that he has taught me in and through his life.
Pray for them, and forgive, even if you can’t rebuild a connection.
This is such a timely, thought-provoking question.
For what it’s worth, I really recommend looking at peacemaker.net and getting their “peacemeal” devotionals and enews. And getting the book the author wrote. It’s such great, biblical teaching that just doesn’t register much on the radar screen of the church. It’s not just about mediation, but about living out forgiveness. It is sooo where the rubber meets the road. Talk about “authenticity” — facing up and honoring someone who has dishonored you, and the process involved…wow. Dang. I think sometimes you just have to do it in faith or obedience, as unto Jesus, because feelings are sooo fickle–when am I ever going to feel like doing it?
This weekend, I have a huge opportunity of honoring someone, and I’m going to keep that thought in my head–it’s for You, Jesus, it’s for You. Definitely will help to keep a smile on my face and a level of joy in my heart.
WOW! I’m not sure I can add anything that hasn’t already been said, but wanted to chime in. I tend to agree that praying for, forgiving and serving are all perfect ways. If you’re going to “kill them with kindness”…let’s not do it with any other agenda than serving HIM and not the one who has offended.
The Bible says to bring that person a gift. So maybe buy them an itunes gift card or a Starbucks gift card or something. Not a $5 one either…something of substance to both you and them.
I don’t really know…My father refuses to speak to me or let me see my sister cuz he’s a bitter old man, so I send him and her birthday and christmas presents/cards and hope that at least she can remember that when she gets older. I’ve basically given up on my father, but at least I’ve done my part!
forgive them in public. it sucks to hold on to crap. crap should be flushed. word. love you.
Man Los,
Way to get all up in my business. I am struggling with this. Th big problem is that he is on my team. I will pray and then go.
anonomously put some money in their ministry account.
it was a comment at another blog that prompted me. Here it is:
“As a general rule, you want to be very careful about the way you speak about other men’s ministry. Though I obviously have grave reservations about some of the things that are done in these churches, I am deeply grateful to God that he has used these men to spread his gospel. We should also be deeply grateful to these men for sacrificing and striving to see the gospel go forward. I don’t know all of them personally, but I would venture that many of them may be much better husbands, fathers, leaders, and disciples of the Lord than I will ever be.
Does that mean I approve of their methods? Not at all. Does that mean that I think their methods aren’t at times wrong and unhelpful? Not at all. But I am thankful that God uses crooked sticks (like me) to strike straight blows. ”
Posted by: Mike McKinley | Jan 30, 2008 9:34:02 AM
http://blog.9marks.org/2008/01/speaking-of-coo.html#comments
I’d been struggling for a long time because of some obvious flaws in that person’s life, but being reminded of all the ways that he has strove and sacrificed for the gospel changed my heart.
Plus, being reminded of how “God uses crooked sticks(like me) to strike straight blows” was powerfully humbling.
Thanks for the opportunity to share, ragamuffin soul!
I’ve never commented before, but have been reading for awhile now. Thanks for keeping it real! This question hit me right between the eyes: I keep hearing God say, let it go, don’t add fuel to the fire!
pray for them and/or with them regularly. I’ve found it’s hard to hold a grudge for long when you do that.
Hmml, I teach special ed in an alternative elementary school and I get “dishonored” every day. Sometimes I get a sore on the left side of my tongue from biting it. It takes a mindset of knowing that other person is important to God and treating them that way, and we’re all working on that, right?
I always figured FORGIVENESS would be a good way to honor someone who has dishonored you, but I find it hard to find anyone I’ve dishonored whos willing to show any forgiveness, probably a bit of what has me tainted.
connote something of priceless value…
By not blogging about it. (You know how hard that can be!)
do to them what you WISH they had done to you…. treat them as you wanted them to treat you.
Los, you’re the man dude, you continue to amaze and challenge us all. All that was said here is right on, however I would say the only other thing you could do….is this! If someone is disprespecting you, don’t act right then. If you act right then, two things could happen. One, you’ll fly off the handle, and that ain’t good. Or two, you’ll try to be nice through your anger and then you won’t be real and genuine about it. People can tell when you’re faking it, they can see the scowel behind your smile. Take a day to pray about it, sleep on it. Don’t let your anger determine the situation. When you talk it out with someone, or journal it, it will help you process things better.
Pray for them.
That’s all I can do at times.
I have been thinking about this question for the past day…At first I couldn’t really think of someone who (at least recently) “dishonored” me. But there was one situation that came to mind after a while, and it was pretty recent…
I still see that person now and then, so my best answer is this: yes, to pray for him, but also to genuinely wish the best for him in life, to keep my opinions to myself and not to speak poorly of him, even though it would be pretty easy to do with some of the friends that were involved in the situation. And if any of my friends says something negative about him, to in turn say something positive, since we all could be called out for stuff like that.
Yep. Thanks for making me think of this, Los! Great question.
forgive them, love them, pray that God would bless them and give them favor.
invite them over for pizza and enjoy a movie together
I am right in the middle of this and my first attempt at kindness was thrown right back in my face – so I will just keep trying…
Kill them with kindness right?
“…Kill them with kindness….”
sometimes no.
there was a situation in my life where the best thing was to leave the person who had ‘dishonored’ me alone.
that was the healthiest thing to do.
i have forgiven them and pray sometimes for them, but that doesn’t i should have interaction with her.
i hope this doesn’t come across bad.
More than likely there is some type of conflict going on because of perceived wrongdoing. I would ask them if I had offended them in some way. Assuming that they perceive that I have indeed offended them, I would ask for their forgiveness for at the very least making them feel that way. Then followup with asking if they’d go to grab a snack/lunch/dinner with me and try to further restore the relationship. If they refuse at any of these points, that is their choice. But I believe in such a case as this I will have done everything reasonable and perhaps even possible to heal and would not, as Jesus said, let the dust remain on my shoes.