My !@$$!@#ing Dentist
Here was the schedule for the afternoon.
Yellow Fever Vaccine – 2:00
Conference Call with Compassion Bloggers – 3:00
Meet Austrailian buddy at Buckhead – 3:30
That was how it was supposed to go.
To put it simply, our form of payment was not accepted at ghetto Cobb Country clinic so I went on a wild goose chase around Marietta looking for a Washington Mutual while Heather stayed at the clinic with the kids.
1 hour later…no funds…no shots…screaming kids…no phone call…missed meeting…Atlanta drivers deciding to all hit the brakes at one time because of the white flakes from the sky.
I cussed for 30 seconds straight.
30 seconds. Seriously. I have not cussed for longer than, um, like 2 seconds before. Ever.
That is about how long it takes to say some pretty nasty things.
But at 3:35 pm today I screamed and cussed at the top of my lungs in my car while managing not to take the Lord’s name in vain.
Like He cared after that.
When I was done I looked down at the passenger seat next to me.
There was my iPhone.
The home screen was not on.
It was the phone screen.
It had changing numbers on the screen.
2:34…2:35…2:36
Directly above that the name…”Dr. Rob Mohn” was displayed.
It only took 2 seconds for me to figure out that whatever was on the other line of that phone call just heard me brilliantly display my need for grace.
I slowly picked it up and heard nothing…
Then beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep…click.
My dentist just got a lesson on 9th grade ghetto grammar.
Only from a 34 year old pastor…sigh…
Los
RAIN IT DOWN
ROTFL!!!
usually I’m not swearing until after the dentist gets done, and I get the bill.
Freakin’ hilarious…I preached a message on anger last year…the next day my dog crapped all over our new sofa…I proceeded to let loose a #$@!%$& stream that went on for about 20 seconds…took my phone out of my pocket to that in my rage I had dialed a former teen in my youth ministry…oh yeah..he called me 30 minutes later asking “what the $%&#@$% was that?”…it happens to the best of us…still pretty funny.
I wonder how many wars have been started by those little phone demons that dial numbers for you.
…stop cussing you bad kid. “Pot, this is kettle…”
i appreciate that kind of honesty. it is amazing that whenever we go against our character, it is often followed by an embarrassing humbling encounter.
Even funnier when you know the dentist who will receive the message.
we miss your 9th grad ghetto grammar in so cal…heck, thats how we ALL talk like out here…well, maybe not on sundays, but the rest of the week for sure. mike.
ouch, thats never good, lol
I think that Rob probably thought it was freaking hilarious. I actually can’t wait to ask him if what he heard or even better: if he still has the message.
I’ll forward you an mp3 copy and then hold my copy as ransom for a link on your blog with a big fatty ad in that extra spot over there.
As much as we preach against potty mouths, I still miss a good F-bomb now and then…nothing feels quite like it.
HA thats funny!
That made my day and its only 8 AM. My husband swears….. I mean, he’s convinced that his iPhone randomly calls people. The other week his “phone” called a male co-worker while he was at the man spa inquiring about the cost of getting his brows waxed. My iPhone hasn’t done that, knock on wood. Now sending a text message to the wrong person while having multiple ongoing conversations, that’s a whole different story.
ouch…
dude. too funny! it’s kinda crazy how “stuff” happens when we get all worked up. i’m not much of a cusser, but get me really angry and P.O.’d and a flood of unwholesomeness will erupt.
At least it weren’t Andy Stanley…
ROFL!
thats what dreams are made of. Bad Dreams.
Dude, one time I cussed out a lady at the vets office over the phone. I felt so bad (and I knew THEY knew I worked for a church), so I went in person to apologize. When she came out from behind the counter, I realized she was my age and about 11 months pregnant.
Eventually you laugh about these things.
Whatcha think about that touch screen now?
I’m sorry, man. I can’t help but laugh at that. Since I’m usually the first name on everyone’s phonebook, this has happened to me on several occasions because folks didn’t lock their keyboard. Oh, the things I’ve heard…
That’s the funniest thing I’ve read all day.
ooooohh…bet that created a really special feeling inside…:)
i also bet it re-aligned your “compass” in a way that will endure!
thanks for sharing something that definitely is not image management…
Wow. That’s hilarious! In a “I’m sorry that happened to you” kind of way.
Oh my gosh…that is so funny! And yes, I think it has happened to all of us. The best we can do is be real about it and admit we’re all on a journey and none of us have arrived yet.
“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection! But I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be” (Phil. 3:12)
Thanks for keeping it real.
Brad Ruggles
http://www.bradruggles.com
LOL!!!!!!!
doncha just love iPhones!?
I am hoping someone will be able to follow through with showing Dr. Mohn at least your picture from the blog…I’ve known him for over 18 yrs, dude, you know he’ll laugh
You got punked by Jesus.
Being a dentist, I can tell you that was probably an exciting addition to his day! I would love to get a great laugh most days!
Thanks for sharing brother. Lord knows we’re all in the oven, in the process, and in this flesh.
Don’t sweat it bro, If the BC elevators had microphones in them, I’m pretty sure I’d get fired.
Speaking of which, Ask Tatiana about “Pick-it and Stick-it” sometime…
why do we unhesitatingly substitute “X#&^@!” for “F U C K” and “@#$_!” for “S H I T”!? and not just actually be honest with our carnality, confess it before the Lord, repent from it and change!
i think the reasons may be:
a) cowardice
b) shameless ungodliness
c) not a believer
resolve is the glory of chaos..i wish we saw more of it!
is this REALLY being authentic or just carnal…just an honest question?
Uh…..
carnal in the moment and authentic in the confession.
new to your blog but lovong this post! i especially love the photo a la a christmas story ….. it was….soap poisioning!!!!!!!!!
I just learned this thanks to the urban dictionary http://www.urbandictionary.com Great news! I’d say you’re off the hook for this word:
________________________________________________
“A long, long time ago, they used to ship manure (containing largely feces) on boats around the mediterranian. Well, the cargo was always on the lowest deck. The problem was, the boats back then would be farely leaky, and water would get in. When water and manure mixed, it would produce a large amount of methane. Careless and unknowing crew members at night would carry torches, and if they went below deck with enough methane, the ship would explode. To solve this problem, they simply started shipping them above deck so any gas could go out into the atmosphere. To make sure this was done, manure-containers would be labeled with “S.H.I.T.”. This of course, stands for “Ship High In Transit”
I am visiting his office for my first cleaning today in 4 years/ yikes.