DEATH and YOU
I have realized that I am a control freak.
I don’t want to die until I am like 108 years old.
Chances are, that’s not going to be the case.
We are all dying. Some just faster than others.
This man has taught me a lot.
So. Be honest now.
Does death scare you?
Does death ever cross your mind?
Do you think about your own death?
What has the word DEATH meant to you in your life and where has it taken you?
Where are you guys on this?
Carlos
RAIN IT DOWN
Truthfully I don’t fear death, but I do kinda fear the type of death.
Also that whole part about looking Christ in the eyes, and answering for all my sin. Thats kind of an important part of existence. Kinda scared of that.
Just finished his book by the same title.
I’ll be reading it again.
And death, I’ll never embrace it but I don’t want to fear it.
I’m pretty scared of the actual dying part.. where there is pain. This and also who I leave behind who will mourn over my death. That part scares me the most. I don’t think about death a whole lot though.. but this guy seems awesome. I really want to see the lecture.
Death to me means that God is done using you.
i just got off the phone with a close friend who just found out her mother-in-law only has 4 days to live. it feels weird. besides being devastated, just knowing that in days she will be with the Lord and not with us is strange. facing death when you know it’s coming is so different then losing someone suddenly. I don’t know which is worse really.
ive thought about it a lot last week at the lighthouse retreat.
more than i really wanted to.
serving and loving on families that have a child fighting cancer…facing each day with the reality of how do we keep our child alive one more day…
and then the reality of this happening in my family, how would i live my life differently if my sweet baby girl had cancer…..was a heavy week…
and yet…still….knowing that in Jesus we have the victory and we win either way…
lots of deep thinking and questioning and wrestling with this topic this past week.
thanks for asking
CASE
Death is one of the things we all have in common. We will each have our turn at it. No one gets out alive unless we make it to the rapture.
I think about death pretty often. My husband has a couple of incurable diseases and I have been recently diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis. One day, I will have to take my turn.
I am a woman of faith. I believe that I have a destiny to fulfill with my life. I am doing all that I know to reach that goal. When my time comes to leave this earth, I will experience the joy of seeing my Savior face to face. He paid the price for ALL of my sin. He is not mad at me. He loves me with an unspeakable passion. I am OK with that.
It is, however, my deep desire to die in my sleep at age 100+. I hope my death will not be painful and lingering. I do not like pain.
My mother passed away just over a year ago after a brutal battle with lung cancer… in one of my weaker moments during her last few weeks of life, it hit me: There is only one way to not fear death, and I have it. I know that sounds like a church-ed up answer, but it truly was one of those rare moments of clarity in the middle of a really crappy time.
Los, I appreciate that you delve into some hard questions.
Peace.
A buddy of mine had a interesting post about death and how it motivates us not too long ago. Check it out here – http://tinyurl.com/5c3guz
CJ Mills .::. http://www.visualtrademark.com
It’s already been said, but death doesn’t scare me as much as how I will die.
Not sure the kind of person I will become when I know that death is imminent. that scares me.
I used to be terrified, paralyzed by thinking about death and dying.
Then one day I wasn’t.
And I haven’t been since.
Dunno what happened. But I think it will be sweet. Not in the surfer sweeeeet. But sweet. Weird, I know. I have had so many close and untimely deaths in my circle…eternal rest and love…I dunno.
I don’t think about death or dying, but I often think about what I want my family to be/do when I’m gone.
But Los, think about how creative and productive you’ll be in your new body.
Answered… http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/DandelionSeeds/546417/
wow… thanks for sharing this…
although, it still frustrates me…
I sometimes ponder death and things around death. Like why my best friend died graduation night and I got to live? Or why our son died after 76 days in an orphanage with no one to love on him and yet some others in the world live to be 100 years older than he was.
But scared of death? I don’t think so. The same things that bother everyone else bother me – leaving behind those I love, etc. But if we really believe what we say we do then we shouldn’t fear death.
I’m not scared of dying, I’m scared of living a death like life.
I think the way worries me and it upsets me to think of those I will leave behind…
I’m not afraid of dying. It is more being afraid for those I leave behind. Like would my kids ever get fed anything besides cheese crisps and corn dogs?
I will admit that until very recent years I’m was not ready to go. And I felt guilty for saying that. For wanting this life more than that one. But a part of me wants to see my kids grow up, etc.
My five year old, on the other hand, is ready to go and live in heaven now. Oh, for faith like a child.
I’ll be vulnerable…I am scared of death. I am sacred of leaving my family behind. I am scared of taking that last breath and then who knows what will happen. I believe with my mind and all my heart one thing, but when you take that last breath the ultimate unknown is a little scary to think about.
I live with maybe a healthy fear of death because I don’t want to die with regrets.
I also am scared of suffering…I am a wimp! I pray that God takes me quick
When it comes right down to it…I guess I just trust that God will provide what I need in the season of life he puts me in
For me, it’s not so much a fear of dying, in and of itself.
It’s more a fear of what I might leave behind…
I’m not afraid to meet my Maker; I know where I stand there. It’s the possibility of missing out on events in my children’s lives or my grand-children’s or my great-grandchildren…
It’s the fear that I could possibly outlive those I love.
And really, it’s not even truly FEAR.
It’s something more like realizing that it’s all out of my hands, anyway.
Hey, have you read, “The Shack”?
I hated the first half of it, but the second half more than made up for the first.
I think you might appreciate it.
Four years ago I had no fear of death.
Now that I have two kids, the thought of leaving them mortifies me.
I was watching The Family Man w/ Nick Cage today and the part in that movie that always gets to me is when he has to go back to his real life at the end and leave the kids he’s grown to love. Very sad.
The guy thought e had everything when he was a fortune 500 president living alone in a NYC penthouse …. turns out he was far happier grinding out a living in the burbs as a tire salesman w/ a beautiful family. That’s a great movie w/ a great message, much like the guy in that video clip.
i want to meet him in heaven someday.
is he a christian?
Before my daughter was born my fears about death went something like, “Lord, please make it painless. Please let my house be spotless that day. And PULEEEZ let my legs be shaven!”
Now, I’ll be honest… those things still come up, but now I mostly think about my little girl. We recently wrote out our wills and I made sure to put in a specific order who would be her legal guardian (I made a list of 5 just in case, you know, everyone starts dying off… ha.) and then I made a list of people who are never to have her. Her salvation is what I mostly think about.
I am a huge control freak so when thinking about death I usually fear leaving people behind the most. My kids. I am not ready to die and leave them… That scares me the most. It’s that thought that I haven’t finished what I am here to do yet.
Not afraid of the end game of death. Can genuinely say once I’m good things will be so much better.
But the idea of how I might die, of going through pain, and worse yet the idea of getting old and my body breaking down, that thought scares the crap out of me regularly. I just don’t want to deal with the actual going through the process part.
I’ll be honest. it scares me. I know the bible says I shouldn’t, but I am. Or maybe it’s just the thought of not being here. But I remember what Perry said last week, when God doesn’t have anything else for you to do, youll be dead. Keeps it in perspective. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.
My dad died of colon cancer when I was 22. His last months were awful for him. The moment he died, I was immediately relieved for him. No more pain/wasting away/fear etc.
I´m 27 now and I still mis him every day and my whole life feels different because he’s gone. The only thing that comforts me is that he’s with Jesus now, which I’m actually quite jealous of because I think there isn’t anything better than that.
I just miss him so much. When I see other girls with their fathers… He was always proud of me, no matter what, always told me I was beautiful, etc. I will never get that back.
But I never think about my own death, hmm…
Not to change the topic, but:
I actually had the opportunity to watch Randy’s last lecture live. My professor last fall even had the honor of being a close friend of his, so we got to hear more about what this man had to contribute to the lives of his family, his students, and the technology world as a whole. Randy accomplished more in his few short years than most other people would be capable of in multiple lifetimes.
I would STRONGLY recommend watching the lecture in its entirety to all Ragamuffins. It will certainly give you a new perspective on the important things in life. Find more of Randy’s videos here: http://download.srv.cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/
P.S. Los, you just earned some respect points in my book for posting about Randy Pausch. He is a hero of the computer science community.
Unfortunately I do fear death, I know that as a believer I should not. However, I think what I fear is the “kind” of death. I often think if I die naturally then that is fine. Also, you put the kids in the picture, I am afraid of dying and leaving them without a mother, that is one of my biggest fears. But then again, I have to believe that if that is what happens that my God cares about my children, and will provide all their needs (and even I can’t do that).
So, yes death scares me. I have not had to experience a lot of death in my life, but when I have they have all been believers, so I know that I will see them again some day.
That is pretty incredible… lost my mother-in-law to cancer recently, hard to watch someone you care about die, but it does bring home your own mortality.
Isn’t this what our faith is all about? Christ conquered death, and to be absent from the body (here on earth, our earthly bodies) is to be with God. How much better can that get? I think it is the transition we all fear most.
My death doesn’t scare me, really. I’m more afraid of losing those close to me.
i’m not afraid of death…at least i don’t worry about it. when it comes to thinking of my death, it makes me want to do all the good i can and not leave any debt behind for my family so they can be concerned with doing all the good they can do instead of paying off my debt legacy.
It’s not death I worry about. I know it’s coming eventually. It’s leaving kids behind that really, really need their mother. But I’m confident that He knows what he is doing, you know?
It’s actually the wooden box I fear. I don’t like small spaces.
Well, this is a subject I’ve thought a lot about since I was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer back in Jan. I’ll tell you, it’s one thing to think about your own mortality in an intellectual way when you’re not actually faced with it, and it’s another thing entirely to think about it when you are faced with it.
Randy Pausch is an admirable man, truly. I saw his lecture and read his book. He’s amazing.
For me, well, my “prognosis” is longer than his. According to my oncologist I have anywhere from 5-9 years. This is difficult, though, being a mother to a 6 year old boy; in addition, my boy, being adopted, has already lost one mother. This is what breaks my heart. I hate for him to lose another mother.
So I have problems with the prognosis of mine. I want to be here to raise my son. It’s that simple.
I’ve written a lot about my feelings about death, about mortality, on my blog. I struggle with them all the time. They change. I pray about it all the time.
And I know that it’s so much more in God’s hands than in any “prognosis.”
My last big blog about it is here:
http://justenjoyhim.wordpress.com/2008/05/24/on-death/
Interesting question, Los. Still, it’s one of those things that profoundly changes once it becomes real, once you’re really faced with your own mortality. It’s not just a “what if?” anymore.
totally freaked about death. both the when and the how. i, too, am a total control freak (even though i know i have none). *vulnerable moment* i think it’s because my biological father died before i was born in a hunting accident. i never knew him. then i watched my grandfather die of a horrible disease. the pain associated with death is probably what scares me most.
It reminds me of my friend George who died last August from Pacreatic Cancer. He was so fun. I miss him very much.
I am not afraid to die I am just wanting to make sure I live every second here on Earth like it was my last. I love how he says “I like living” I thnk we should all be really living not just taking in air.
I used to rarely think about death, but the older I get (47) the more I realize just how temporal our lives on earth are. I actually wrote a post “kinda about” this topic a couple of weeks ago.
http://stevendunham.com/?p=134
But as to death… the biggest part of me that fully trusts is not afraid and remains ever hopeful, but the small part of me that sometimes doubts is terrified that this may be all there is.
Judy: I just said a prayer for you and your son. Thanks for sharing your struggle.
The notion of death does not bother me, we all die. Of course, I’d like to pick how I pass, but I doubt I’ll be that lucky. The apprehension around my own death is mostly tied to estate planning. More recently, I’ve been more obsessed with getting all the future planning, living wills, etc in order for those that survive me. It seems all so morbid. :/
I’ve had an interesting encounter with death. It doesn’t scare me anymore.
I still don’t live as full as I should, at times. But I’m determined to live to the fullest.
Part 1 of my story is up over on my blog.
http://auntiebsday.blogspot.com
NOpe. Used to. And every now and then I forget and panic . . . but absent with the body, present with the Lord. Church-ed up answer or not these are the words of truth and life. Better than anything that’s here. We have to love GOD more than the stuff HE GIVES US so that we can be set apart for everlasting life. GOD gets all glory. ALL. Iwouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Him, so I am His . . . and I’ll never forget the price He paid for me.
I don’t fear death at all! I don’t fear looking my Father in the eyes and accounting for my choices. I am so amazed that I GET to look Him in the eyes and I can’t wait to be with Him and have all of the pain of this world removed FOREVER!
BUT, I do love this life for all of its heartaches and brokenness. There are so many glimpses of Him everywhere you look. But why would I want to just catch glimpses when I can be in the presence of the real thing with the people I love??
That’s how I feel about it… Not to say that I wouldn’t be horrified if my end came in the form of a shark bite or anything, but at least it would get me to the gates! : )
I think about death almost daily. Hard not to when I have 2 kids and 1 on the way. Things changed when I became a parent. I don’t want to die young either. Not because I am afraid. I can’t wait to get to heaven. No. I don’t want to die young because I don’t want my family shattered. My kids need me. So does my husband.
Here’s to long life, Los. And when we meet in Heaven it’ll be awesome… but not too soon. Ya know!
I don’t fear my own death. Now, my husband, he should fear my death (5 kids to raise). Ha.
What I fear is my parents’ deaths. We are so close, and I can’t imagine how we’ll live when they’re not in the world anymore.
So, I just don’t think about it. 3 mantras I live by:
1 My children will always be young
2 I will always be healthy
3 My parents will never die
Nothing wrong with a little denial to get you through the day.
It’s funny… i’m not the least bit nervous…. ABOUT ME. But I’m petrified that my wife or children will die.
I don’t know how I’d make it through that one
I’m more afraid of those I love dying, than dying myself. I lost my dad in a plane crash and I’ve been afraid of EVER having that type of pain again…and losing someone. But, I trust God to get me through it, should it happen.
I follow Randy Paush’s (sp) blog..he is still doing okay, he made it through Christmas and with Father’s day being this Sunday, looks like HE WILL ENJOY ANOTHER FATHER’S day with his kids. I praise God for that. He is an amazing man.
Kelly S.
wow, thanks for making me cry. Yea I think about death a lot. How I couldn’t imagine life with out my baby or Chris. Couldn’t imagine livng with out my family and more than anything thinking about there suffering when I’m gone. Sad sad thought I think
I have been thinking about it lately mainly because of a friend. I don’t think I am afraid of it, but it is one of those things that I guess I will know when it happens. I want to make sure I leave a legacy that pleases and glorifies God. I want to make a moment out of everything. For right now I want to spend as much time doing God’s work and planting seeds and spending as much time with the people I love.
I never thought death was real. I could never imagine a world without me in it. HOW self centered is that!
THEN ……back in December of 07 I got to hear that I have stage IV lung cancer. There is no stage V and they never down grade you. I am dying.
YUP I had to do some amazing re-thinking! MEEEE …….sssheeeesh how would the world turn without me.
I sure hope God is real.
Death has been a HUGE part of my life over the last 4 years… I have been to 4 funerals and have sat by while many more people died… all children… all to cancer… and it SUCKS. I know they are in Heaven now, with Jesus, pain free and cancer free, but for the friends and family left behind, it royally sucks and it’s NOT fair. There’s my vent for the day.
I think about death a lot, especially where Kennedy is concerned. I think any parent with a child with cancer would tell you the same… it’s an unfortunate part of our world and we just pray that God doesn’t let it destroy us.