What works:
Committed attendance
Mix of study and social
Similar age group
Set schedule (people need to know they can count on the start and end times- we ate dessert at the end so that those who wanted to leave then could)
Creating a comfortable atmosphere
Meeting weekly

What does not work:
Meeting bi-weekly or changing meeting dates often
Required homework- videos work great- we love Andy’s
Meeting in the summer

The first group we tried were “not our people”. We did not have anything in common with them. There were not other groups in our area so we decided to lead a group. It was a rocky start but we ended up with an awesome group of strong Christians who had just joined our church. We had some unbelievable times of sharing and support. ** We met weekly which made a huge difference!** Our church also encourages us to divide and start new groups after 18 months. It was hard to divide our group but “it’s not about me”. We are now into our 8th month with a new “neighborhood” group where we are trying to reach people in our neighborhood. You know the people you see every week but do not know anything about and don’t have a church home? This was out of our comfort zone. It has been a struggle to get to the same point as our last group but I think it is mainly because we do not meet every week and we are not making a connection very fast.

1. I feel like I’m not being Pastored anymore.
2. Qualifications for small group leadership can tend to be very minimal.

That said, I lead them myself with much fear and trembling.

I usually struggle with the promoting the expectations of grouplife. Here’s my conclusion, today anyway, that we need to have a flexible enough structure that groups can exist for a variety of reasons…

connecting into friendships
serving together
outreach
spiritual growth

knowing that when someone joins a serving group, they will most likely grow closer. When they study scripture, they see the importance of connecting/serving/etc. So while a single purpose can draw them in, by-products can be deeper friendships, accountability, etc. Whether they become friends really occurs outside the designated group time. I agree you can’t manufacture community, but it’s worth creating an environment for those who need a structure to help them.

okay, that’s my 10 cents

If I had a bone to pick (and this is not with you, as I have not heard you express this opinion), it’d be with the folks who insist that church-sponsored small groups are “the” vehicle rather than “a” vehicle for these things.

My 2 cents… different strokes for different folks…

@tony g – what if groups became the vehicle for meeting needs in the community? What if friendships became a by-product of that service time together?

Part of it is because it feels like the new buzzphrase that’s replaced “Purpose Driven”

Part of it is that I’ve been in them (men-only and couples) and nothing has clicked.

All of my experiences ended up feeling like scheduled, surface-level friendships. I hear about the good ones, but have never been part of one.

And yes, I do understand that one only gets out of them what they put in, but despite best efforts, nothing has stuck yet.

But we’ll keep trying.

Church is the place of worship. Small groups is where you live life together.

Well, that is the idea anyways. We American Christians have a lot to build.

I can only speak for myself, but I’d say… uh, nothing.

Authenticity and transparency are valuable to me. Being placed in a group of strangers and then told that they’re my new best friends is not valuable to me.

I also place a high value on having people in my life who do not think the same way I do. In my own experience (your mileage may vary, of course), I’ve found that CONSTANT involvement in cell group and/or church activities insulates me from people who don’t have a relationship with GOD. I’d rather not hide in church.

I am a part of a long sanding Friday morning Bible study with about 5 other men. We meet at a local cafe early on Fridays and discuss the week’s reading (typically a short book like Philippians or 5 or 6 chapters from longer books like Acts).

In my younger days, I fled the small group scene for many of the reasons mentioned above (infighting, not-like-us attitudes, etc).

Peace.