Comments on: What Does Depression Feel Like?

By: aim

aim — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 06:06:09 +0000

Depression…so much to say I cannot say it. The tears are there though.
Feeling like a shadow…not there…invisible.
Wishing I could disappear.
Knowing I'm not enough.
So much more I want to explain…but came here tonight just trying to hold on…

By: djchuang

djchuang — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 17:33:58 +0000

Yes, very hard to admit. No one needs more advice about having more faith or being more optimistic. What does it feel like? It feels bad, dark clouds hovering over your brain waves, like a boot lock on your expired parking space. Desparate for help. Depression and anxiety seem related to me, though of course, not identical.

As for getting past it? it’s an on-going battle. I think not everyone gets deliverance. I have to try new tactics and strategies. Haven’t found a magic bullet.

By: soozieque

soozieque — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 22:52:14 +0000

Ah, depression. My specialty. Sorry for commenting so late in the game. What works for me? Medication, and during this time of year a light box for light therapy due to seasonal affective disorder, and counseling. I’ve been on medication for a number of years and actually got a degree in college related to it, so when I get attacked by people who tell me that I’m depressed because I don’t trust God enough or am sinning by taking the medication I just laugh. The way I see it, God made pharmacists. They made anti-depressants. Ergo- God had a hand in it. God doesn’t want me to be a non-functional or walking around threatening suicide. I think He likes me just the way I am, even if that means 60mg of Cymbalta in the morning

By: Jessica

Jessica — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 22:42:04 +0000

Also, thanks Los for posting on this. It helps reading everyones comments on their depression because I then don’t feel like I am all alone in this battle and that I am crazy.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 22:08:18 +0000

I couldn’t read all the comments. I know that Jesse H and Stephanie said alot of what I feel. I have struggled with it off and on for years. Depression and anxiety and even bipolar run in my family. So, it is genetics, probably some chemical. I was told to take medicine once, but never have. I can tell you that I don’t always deal with my depression very well. Right now, I am struggling with it big time. Lots of changes and stresses and I not in any kind of control. For me I feel lonely, abandoned, unloved, and hopeless. To deal with it I usually force myself to pray and pray and pray some more. Tonight I am forcing myself to visit a church I have never been to because I still haven’t found a home church here. Honestly, all I want to do is hide in my room and cry. I have a hard time doing anything and motivation is almost nonexistent. Yet, I know that is what I am going through and I force myself to look to someone besides myself. It usually helps even if it takes a while to get out of it.

By: mike

mike — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 14:36:27 +0000

Have never been depressed, but anxiety has definitely surfaced. After pastoring the same church for 20 years and only having 75 in attendance you begin to wonder if things will ever change. Anxiety or worry over the future eventually becomes acute. However, four things have helped me over the hump: My wife believes in me to the max. I have an incredible staff member who has believed in me and encouraged me greatly. Steven Furtick’s message at Catalyst was HUGE, can’t say enough. And last but not least, Scripture and the belief that God still has a plan and a future for me.Hope that helps someone.

By: Keeping it anonymous

Keeping it anonymous — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 03:53:50 +0000

IT DOESN’T FEEL. Good, bad, light, dark, it all becomes the same. You’re numb. There’s just nothing there. And feeling nothing is way more exhausting than feeling sad.

By: hollybird

hollybird — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 03:17:12 +0000

I’m a psychiatric nurse married to an associate pastor. I have worked to help those who struggle with depression, and I have been on the other side of the desk too. It’s dark and lonely. You know that feeling when you are surrounded by people but you feel utterly alone? Well, to me, depression was like that constantly. It hurt.. emotionally, physically and spiritually. A little more than a year ago, I had hoarded enough pills to effectively commit suicide (being a psych nurse, I knew better than to do it halfway). I had a date and had written my goodbye letters. and then God intervened through the words of a counselor and the unconditional love of my husband. Healing from depression is always a miracle. Sometimes God chooses to work instantly, and sometimes He works it out little by little through counseling and medication therapy. We need to be more open with these struggles and combat the stigma against it.
thanks for opening this discussion!

By: Cheryl

Cheryl — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 00:53:00 +0000

Denying the existence of true physical depression and telling someone who’s brain is not making enough of a certain chemical that it “is all of el diablo” as Mackenie has done above is nothing short of spiritual abuse.

Our brains produce chemicals that we need to maintain health. If your brain doesn’t regulate those chemicals appropriately you have problems.

It is because of comments like the one above that so many in the church suffer in silence.

By: Brandy

Brandy — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 00:48:36 +0000

Depression for me comes when I fall back into believing all the things Satan tells me about myself. Rooted in childhood, showing up in adulthood. It feels like I can’t think, can’t speak well, just want to be left alone and sleep and cry. Feels like I could easily run away to a far away city and just hole up in a hotel. Feels like I understand why people start drinking and using drugs- anything to make this feeling stop. It’s like I KNOW the things that will help me feel better, but I just can’t make myself do them.
Added to this is that I am terrified that if I take meds, I will have to admit that I need them forever. And I am also really scared that I won’t be allowed to adopt from certain countries…so I battle it with the help of friends, my husband, laughter, exercise, sheer willpower, the Word and Dr Pepper.