"We would like to welcome everyone who is visiting with us today. If this is your first time at (insert name of church here) – we are so glad you decided to join us on this, the day the Lord has made – please remain seated as we all stand to greet one another so our members can know who you are and come by to welcome you to (insert name of church here)."
Music styles and preferences be damned…how crazy to be where the authentic God is, only to walk out without one authentic connection to a fellow believer.
I am with you Ben, I dread hearing some condemning false stone throwing teaching being tossed around in Our Lords name…Makes me literally sick!
I also dread the meet and greet crap
And the tithe and offering time. I hate it when people use Gods word to try and bribe followers into giving!
Just be honest and say something like "Look we need to make payroll and pay the bills , that won't happen unless you give to us…so please fork it over!" Don't use Gods word to guilt me into giving!!!
AGGGHHHH!!! I hate those 3 things!
ok maybe 4…
The forth would have to be dead, dry, so called "praise and worship"
Gotta be the let's stop everything and have you greet someone who you won't remember the name of 3 minutes after we're done greeting each other and we'll likely never remember if we see them again amongst the thousands attending each week.
I'm with James – fakeness. The disconnect between the welcome they want to give, and the welcome they really give. Even after a 2 years of being in my church, is still dread being really early for services because of it.
Pretending to want to meet the people around me at greeting time. I find that's the best time to read my program. (Did I mention…I'm a pastor's wife? LOL)
I dread the obligatory, super spiritual sounding, but completely incomprehensible comments that some worship leaders feel they need to make between songs.
1. The Hug and Howdy (or meet and greet) I always think this is used becuase the guy leading music can't (or doesn't want to) think of a better transistion.
Wow, seems like for a bunch of people who should be in the business of "people", we sure don't want to talk to anyone. If you're afraid of fake-ness, then don't be fake!
Honestly. I just dread thinking about having something to dread about. I wish that I didn't critique whether the music was good or not. Or whether or not the speaker was well-versed and funny. I especially never want to dread "meeting and greeting" someone I don't know and passing on a warm smile and a handshake. I don't give a rip if I don't know them or not. That communication might be the only friendly embrace they've had all week.
I just wish I could come without any preconceived notions of how anything should look or be and just come with an open heart to worship.
I'm pretty sure that's all God asks of me in the first place.
I would say the unnecessary comments during worship. The "get to know you" handshake time (dont ask me how I am doing unless you want to have a conversation and allow me to tell you how I REALLY am doing). The worship band showing up on Sunday and treating the first service as a "practice" time. There are a lot of preferences, but the things that matter are those of which reflect God's greatness. His glory. In any of that which we lack, we fail. We ignore our existence.
well, if its my fiance's church, the seats are awful and i actually do dread sitting in them, but more at christian gatherings i dread the worship leader being pretentious, which happens a lot…
Mine would be the cliques that always gather right in front of the church or even right inside and pretend you don't exist as you enter or exit.. (unfortunately it is usually staff members)
I agree with the fakeness and greet the visitors comments. But I have one that will almost automatically make me decide to never return to the church. When during the sermon the pastor says, "Turn to someone and say…" UGH! Don't make me say something I may not mean to someone I probably don't know!
We just transitioned to a new church 2 months ago – walking in the first time – appreciate the extended hands of welcome – appreciate people saying hello during the meet and greet – hardest in not knowing how people in this particular church worship – we came from a church that had an incredible worship band that got everybody up and clapping, etc. – our new church is a bit more subdued then that but our son (high school) said that maybe that was so that God would have us focus more on the words then the beat of the music – hmmmm
Yep, that was my answer too. Sometimes church people tend to be REALLY happy. Nothing wrong with that, and as Christians, we have a lot to be happy about, but it can seem a little fake and off-putting.
The thing that I dread the most is if the pastor will preach a bible based sermon or will he give a watered down, social, feel all warm and fuzzy sermon. I go to church for the "Meat & Potato" sermons not the sermons that are like liquid and they just run right through you and nothing sticks to your spirit.
I always have concerns about the message topic. The last thing I want to sit through is a message on tithing or money issues or their new building project.
"Wasn't that a fantastic? Let's give the choir a hand. And you can all have a seat now — unless you're new here! We'd like you to remain standing for a moment so the ushers can find you – we'd like to share [a special gift / more information about our church / a fresh baked loaf of friendship] with you. Let's give them a hand, folks. Thanks for coming. The Lord is truly good. You can be seated now. Pastor Tim is going to share some announcements now…"
I dreaded this every week growing up, and I wasn't even the visitor.
Lots of people citing the "meet and greet" as the thing they dread most. Could this somehow be related to the recent Online Church and Twitter/Connectivity discussions on this site?
In a strange sort of way, I see the comments above as a "proof" or at least evidence to what Brett was saying in his article about Twitter. It's easy to follow who you want. It's easy to ignore people online. It's hard to engage real people like my next door neighbor because they won't go away when I want them to. It's apparently hard to go to offline church because people might want to talk to me for 10 seconds and simply say "Hi!"
Perhaps my whole comment is judgmental but am I the only one who sees something dangerous in these comments? I'd be really curious to know how many of the "meet and greet" dreaders are new to church or have been going a long time. If you are new — and not new to a particular church but new to church in general — then I think I can understand.
When I first moved away from home, I dreaded them singing a familiar (think signature) song. The tears would start. Probably will happen with my next move too…
I don't mind the handshake thing, *if* I'm actually noticed and not just another hand to shake. Because of that I try to connect with whoever I greet, even if it's just a smile.
I dread the closing prayer that is not actually a prayer but is the 4th point to the sermon that did not get covered during the 3 points and a poem portion.
Wow. Ok now I want to see what everyone's meet and greet is like, because either my church has a phenomenal meet and greet, or I'm really weird. It's one of the highlights of our service.
I dread not connecting to people. Unless it's a pretty big church, the person next to me knows I'm new, and I know that they know I'm new take some time to chat, ask me where I'm from or how I got here. Share a funny story. Just sitting there says you don't care about me and is incredibly uncomfortable. I feel unwelcome, like some sort of intruder. It makes it worse if there's an obvious difference between me and the average member (like if I'm the only person of non-whatever-the-ethnic-majority-is descent, or maybe the only one in jeans, or one of 3 twenty-somethings)
I dread being unable to connect with God through the service. Usually it's not the form of worship but how wholeheartedly they do even the "boring" stuff, and if they explain the significance of the different elements.
I dread being caught in something that is anti-God's glory.
This only really applies for smaller churches, but during announcement time and the host invites new people to stand up for everyone to see and say hello to. Being an extremely shy girl, merely the idea that this might happen makes me want to vomit.
I don't know if I "dread" it, but I get pretty moody sometimes when a worship pastor tells me to sit/stand/lay down/etc… Let me do what I want to do. If you want me to stand, play a song that makes me have no choice BUT to stand. If I want to raise my hands it will be because I want to raise my hands. If I want to sit in my chair with my head resting in my hands then I want to feel free to do that. If I have a better voice than you and you're getting paid to be there then you should have your mic turned down (and consider look for a job in a sound booth). I could go on but this is getting ugly haha
Having been involved 'behind the scenes' technically, those technical cringe factors get me the most, Words that show up on the screen 3 seconds after I was supposed to have sung them, pop's and squeaks on the speakers, the hum (ok we have not solved that one properly yet either), feedback …
I am visiting new churches alot now and what I dread is:
1. Being called out from the stage (which has happened) especially being the only gringa in the crowd
2. Not knowing the music or style of worship all the churches I have visited do not have any words printed anywhere
3. Being dressed wrongly– super conservative, casual, dressy etc plus I have a tattoo on my arm and usually that is frowned upon in the cultural I live in especially for women to have them
4. Being judged
I don't mind the meet and greet. I hate the END of the service when everybody starts talking to people they know and there you are…… leaving the church ……….. "excuse me"ing through throngs of people who don't even make eye contact. Surely SOMEBODY has to notice that yours is a face they haven't seen. That's when I feel like a real outsider. If ONE person/family takes the time to say, "I don't think we've met," it makes ALL the difference in the world.
I'm at a new church almost every Sunday, and if no one says, welcome, we are glad you are here (wheather is their job or not) or something to that effect, I don't feel welcome.
until no one talked to you and then you left and said, "everyone was to themselves. not going back." man, a lot of whining on here. most be from the cheap seats.
Music that is too load and learning new songs are 2 of my big pet peeves. Somenoe should always show new people how the nursery and child check in works and actually walk them to the classes.
i'm noticing the trend of the "talking to people while you're at church" is not a hit with this thread.
okay so the meet and greets are awkward… i'm not a fan myself, but then again..
everybody talks about wanting "community in the church" and complains that their church doesnt have it…
how are you supposed to build a community if you don't talk to the people around you or with someone you've never met? you might not be sharing your skeletons, but i think it breaks down SOME wall.
my question is… how many times do you speak to a stranger at your church on your own? or do you just huddle with the people you know?
(and im speaking to myself here too.)
my dread is the incessant stand up and sit down routine… (we def get our exercise at my church.)
I would dread there to be bad music.
Fakeness. Fake hugs, fake smiles, fake "glad you are here" and "good to see you" statements.
Being greeted by 12 different ushers because you look new.
I hate having to shake hands and talk to strangers if I'm a first timer. I just kinda want to take it all in.
Dead Air!!
meet and greet.
the prayer room that no one can enter. the meatloaf in the fellowship hall.
that 'turn and meet the people next to you' time … lame!
Stares and stairs. I'd rather shrink into the wallpaper than meet new people. Why is that? There's a question for you!
definitely the announcements. wish there was a better way to communicate them
"We would like to welcome everyone who is visiting with us today. If this is your first time at (insert name of church here) – we are so glad you decided to join us on this, the day the Lord has made – please remain seated as we all stand to greet one another so our members can know who you are and come by to welcome you to (insert name of church here)."
the first time-iness, and the not knowing which particular set of cultural standards to adhere to
Music styles and preferences be damned…how crazy to be where the authentic God is, only to walk out without one authentic connection to a fellow believer.
I dread works-based theology.
I am with you Ben, I dread hearing some condemning false stone throwing teaching being tossed around in Our Lords name…Makes me literally sick!
I also dread the meet and greet crap
And the tithe and offering time. I hate it when people use Gods word to try and bribe followers into giving!
Just be honest and say something like "Look we need to make payroll and pay the bills , that won't happen unless you give to us…so please fork it over!" Don't use Gods word to guilt me into giving!!!
AGGGHHHH!!! I hate those 3 things!
ok maybe 4…
The forth would have to be dead, dry, so called "praise and worship"
Then I guess your not going to heaven. Just kidding.
Gotta be the let's stop everything and have you greet someone who you won't remember the name of 3 minutes after we're done greeting each other and we'll likely never remember if we see them again amongst the thousands attending each week.
I'm with James – fakeness. The disconnect between the welcome they want to give, and the welcome they really give. Even after a 2 years of being in my church, is still dread being really early for services because of it.
Pretending to want to meet the people around me at greeting time. I find that's the best time to read my program. (Did I mention…I'm a pastor's wife? LOL)
Things everyone there will know to do, but I won't.
Pushy members. I really don't want to stand up or meet the pastor or fill out a little info card or anything just 'cause it's my first time.
ours specifically….being put in a box….rigidity…(another pastor's wife)
I dread the obligatory, super spiritual sounding, but completely incomprehensible comments that some worship leaders feel they need to make between songs.
Check.
Lots of product in the worship leaders hair.
LOL nice
Wow. That was funny.
Los doesn't have to worry about that
1. The Hug and Howdy (or meet and greet) I always think this is used becuase the guy leading music can't (or doesn't want to) think of a better transistion.
2. Being singled out as a 'first-timer'
Wow, seems like for a bunch of people who should be in the business of "people", we sure don't want to talk to anyone. If you're afraid of fake-ness, then don't be fake!
Honestly. I just dread thinking about having something to dread about. I wish that I didn't critique whether the music was good or not. Or whether or not the speaker was well-versed and funny. I especially never want to dread "meeting and greeting" someone I don't know and passing on a warm smile and a handshake. I don't give a rip if I don't know them or not. That communication might be the only friendly embrace they've had all week.
I just wish I could come without any preconceived notions of how anything should look or be and just come with an open heart to worship.
I'm pretty sure that's all God asks of me in the first place.
You even hug strangers?? Both gross me out.
someone shaking my hand. i'm not a hand shaker. i'm a hugger. it grosses me out to shake stranger's hands. yuk…
I would say the unnecessary comments during worship. The "get to know you" handshake time (dont ask me how I am doing unless you want to have a conversation and allow me to tell you how I REALLY am doing). The worship band showing up on Sunday and treating the first service as a "practice" time. There are a lot of preferences, but the things that matter are those of which reflect God's greatness. His glory. In any of that which we lack, we fail. We ignore our existence.
well, if its my fiance's church, the seats are awful and i actually do dread sitting in them, but more at christian gatherings i dread the worship leader being pretentious, which happens a lot…
walking in with the wrong attitude.
Mine would be the cliques that always gather right in front of the church or even right inside and pretend you don't exist as you enter or exit.. (unfortunately it is usually staff members)
I agree with the fakeness and greet the visitors comments. But I have one that will almost automatically make me decide to never return to the church. When during the sermon the pastor says, "Turn to someone and say…" UGH! Don't make me say something I may not mean to someone I probably don't know!
Leaving!
I dread the "all members stand up, look for visitors and make them feel welcome." awkward. always.
Sitting alone and sitting by someone and have an awkward "I don't know what to say" conversation.
That I'm going to be board out of my mind. That the preacher is going to deliver a "public service message" and not a life changing message.
We just transitioned to a new church 2 months ago – walking in the first time – appreciate the extended hands of welcome – appreciate people saying hello during the meet and greet – hardest in not knowing how people in this particular church worship – we came from a church that had an incredible worship band that got everybody up and clapping, etc. – our new church is a bit more subdued then that but our son (high school) said that maybe that was so that God would have us focus more on the words then the beat of the music – hmmmm
I'm always afraid I'm walking into a perfect church cause I know once I go in I'm gonna screw it up.
Smiles whether the people mean it or not. Sometimes, I'm pretty grumpy when I go to church.
Yep, that was my answer too. Sometimes church people tend to be REALLY happy. Nothing wrong with that, and as Christians, we have a lot to be happy about, but it can seem a little fake and off-putting.
The thing that I dread the most is if the pastor will preach a bible based sermon or will he give a watered down, social, feel all warm and fuzzy sermon. I go to church for the "Meat & Potato" sermons not the sermons that are like liquid and they just run right through you and nothing sticks to your spirit.
I always have concerns about the message topic. The last thing I want to sit through is a message on tithing or money issues or their new building project.
meet and greet…the right hand of christian fellowship.
"Wasn't that a fantastic? Let's give the choir a hand. And you can all have a seat now — unless you're new here! We'd like you to remain standing for a moment so the ushers can find you – we'd like to share [a special gift / more information about our church / a fresh baked loaf of friendship] with you. Let's give them a hand, folks. Thanks for coming. The Lord is truly good. You can be seated now. Pastor Tim is going to share some announcements now…"
I dreaded this every week growing up, and I wasn't even the visitor.
The abundance of rose scented perfume…
I dread they'll play "Friend of God" and I'll be forced to clap along
Announcements. I hate announcements. Everything about announcements.
Lots of people citing the "meet and greet" as the thing they dread most. Could this somehow be related to the recent Online Church and Twitter/Connectivity discussions on this site?
In a strange sort of way, I see the comments above as a "proof" or at least evidence to what Brett was saying in his article about Twitter. It's easy to follow who you want. It's easy to ignore people online. It's hard to engage real people like my next door neighbor because they won't go away when I want them to. It's apparently hard to go to offline church because people might want to talk to me for 10 seconds and simply say "Hi!"
Perhaps my whole comment is judgmental but am I the only one who sees something dangerous in these comments? I'd be really curious to know how many of the "meet and greet" dreaders are new to church or have been going a long time. If you are new — and not new to a particular church but new to church in general — then I think I can understand.
When I first moved away from home, I dreaded them singing a familiar (think signature) song. The tears would start. Probably will happen with my next move too…
I don't mind the handshake thing, *if* I'm actually noticed and not just another hand to shake. Because of that I try to connect with whoever I greet, even if it's just a smile.
I dread the closing prayer that is not actually a prayer but is the 4th point to the sermon that did not get covered during the 3 points and a poem portion.
Figuring out how to take communion…it is so awkward when they say to do communion and you have no idea how they do it…
I dread not sensing the presence of the Lord.
Amen.. Can't believe nobody said this before you! God forbid that his presence isn't felt in a "church" service.
Lightning?
a show….for the love of God, please stop the shows….I just read this this past week – Amos 5:21-24
ending up on the worship guys blog…imitating my thoughts, questions and words line for line..How does he do that?
lol
Pretty surface-level here but I dread simply not knowing where to go. Where is the 5 year old class? What about 2 year olds?
A close second would be dreading unfriendly childcare. Thankfully, it hasn't happened too often but it's a real turn-off when it has occurred.
Post reply FAIL… that was for RHI
I actually love going into new churches for the first time and meeting new people. Guess I'm the only one.
Worship leaders that talky talky more then singy singy.
Wow. Ok now I want to see what everyone's meet and greet is like, because either my church has a phenomenal meet and greet, or I'm really weird. It's one of the highlights of our service.
I dread not connecting to people. Unless it's a pretty big church, the person next to me knows I'm new, and I know that they know I'm new take some time to chat, ask me where I'm from or how I got here. Share a funny story. Just sitting there says you don't care about me and is incredibly uncomfortable. I feel unwelcome, like some sort of intruder. It makes it worse if there's an obvious difference between me and the average member (like if I'm the only person of non-whatever-the-ethnic-majority-is descent, or maybe the only one in jeans, or one of 3 twenty-somethings)
I dread being unable to connect with God through the service. Usually it's not the form of worship but how wholeheartedly they do even the "boring" stuff, and if they explain the significance of the different elements.
I dread being caught in something that is anti-God's glory.
unpadded pews are what I dread most.
This only really applies for smaller churches, but during announcement time and the host invites new people to stand up for everyone to see and say hello to. Being an extremely shy girl, merely the idea that this might happen makes me want to vomit.
I don't know if I "dread" it, but I get pretty moody sometimes when a worship pastor tells me to sit/stand/lay down/etc… Let me do what I want to do. If you want me to stand, play a song that makes me have no choice BUT to stand. If I want to raise my hands it will be because I want to raise my hands. If I want to sit in my chair with my head resting in my hands then I want to feel free to do that. If I have a better voice than you and you're getting paid to be there then you should have your mic turned down (and consider look for a job in a sound booth). I could go on but this is getting ugly haha
Mr. Rogers
Offering #3 (Not including the Building Fund)
Having been involved 'behind the scenes' technically, those technical cringe factors get me the most, Words that show up on the screen 3 seconds after I was supposed to have sung them, pop's and squeaks on the speakers, the hum (ok we have not solved that one properly yet either), feedback …
When no one talks to you and tells you they are glad you are there because they are too busy talking to their peeps. Now that is lame…
I am visiting new churches alot now and what I dread is:
1. Being called out from the stage (which has happened) especially being the only gringa in the crowd
2. Not knowing the music or style of worship all the churches I have visited do not have any words printed anywhere
3. Being dressed wrongly– super conservative, casual, dressy etc plus I have a tattoo on my arm and usually that is frowned upon in the cultural I live in especially for women to have them
4. Being judged
I don't mind the meet and greet. I hate the END of the service when everybody starts talking to people they know and there you are…… leaving the church ……….. "excuse me"ing through throngs of people who don't even make eye contact. Surely SOMEBODY has to notice that yours is a face they haven't seen. That's when I feel like a real outsider. If ONE person/family takes the time to say, "I don't think we've met," it makes ALL the difference in the world.
The meet & greet time. Seems like an obligation instead of a genuine interest.
Too much talk during worship.
I'm at a new church almost every Sunday, and if no one says, welcome, we are glad you are here (wheather is their job or not) or something to that effect, I don't feel welcome.
You got to start on time if it's set for 10:00 don't start at 10:17
Bad music, meet and greet time, and a bad sermon message are things I dread about going to a new church/service.
a terrible worship leader. music helps me open up that line of communciation with God. so, an awesome worship leader is key.
“everyone start using your heavenly prayer language!”
that my negative stereotypes will be enforced and that a nonbeliever will be in attendance too.
peace|dewde
until no one talked to you and then you left and said, "everyone was to themselves. not going back." man, a lot of whining on here. most be from the cheap seats.
Music that is too load and learning new songs are 2 of my big pet peeves. Somenoe should always show new people how the nursery and child check in works and actually walk them to the classes.
The fun-duh-mentalism. Emphasis on the "duh."
Also, as my daddy the pastor always said, a sermon in which the preacher "quoteth the Word and departeth therefrom."
i'm noticing the trend of the "talking to people while you're at church" is not a hit with this thread.
okay so the meet and greets are awkward… i'm not a fan myself, but then again..
everybody talks about wanting "community in the church" and complains that their church doesnt have it…
how are you supposed to build a community if you don't talk to the people around you or with someone you've never met? you might not be sharing your skeletons, but i think it breaks down SOME wall.
my question is… how many times do you speak to a stranger at your church on your own? or do you just huddle with the people you know?
(and im speaking to myself here too.)
my dread is the incessant stand up and sit down routine… (we def get our exercise at my church.)
People coming up to me to say hi, and then keep talking or trying to strike up a conversation.
That and bad music.
That cringe I feel when they do something in the service with no thought for those in the crowd who might just be checking out Christianity.
the offering of the sign of peace, it disrupts the whole service and makes me nervous.
Question for you Carlos? Does Buckhead Church do "Meet & Greet "Time?
someone hugging me that doesn't know me
That the Holy Spirit won't show up in a public way! My first response was my church response.