Comments on: The Great Hot Assistant Debate http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/2009/08/the-great-hot-assistant-debate/ Carlos Whittaker's Weblog Fri, 10 Feb 2012 02:29:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 By: rhi j http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/2009/08/the-great-hot-assistant-debate/#comment-285109 rhi j Mon, 10 Aug 2009 05:19:28 +0000 http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/?p=8211#comment-285109 you're so adorable sometimes....the things you come up with for your blog. i'm thinkin' if my man was to have an assistant, and i had a choice in #1 or #2, i'd pic #1, become friends with her and ensure she knows that if she ever even THOUGHT about crossing that line...she'd have the wrath of me pissed off coming down on her...not something she'd want, and she'd know it! =0) you're so adorable sometimes….the things you come up with for your blog. i'm thinkin' if my man was to have an assistant, and i had a choice in #1 or #2, i'd pic #1, become friends with her and ensure she knows that if she ever even THOUGHT about crossing that line…she'd have the wrath of me pissed off coming down on her…not something she'd want, and she'd know it! =0)

]]> By: Afraid2SayMyName http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/2009/08/the-great-hot-assistant-debate/#comment-285099 Afraid2SayMyName Mon, 10 Aug 2009 04:45:11 +0000 http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/?p=8211#comment-285099 "We just don't have time in our lives for outside affairs."? Because people who cheat on their spouces schedule it in their calendar????? "We just don't have time to NOT trust each other."? Because people who are cheated on NEVER thought their spouce was untrustworthy? I'm sorry, but out the hundreds of other comments, this one has re-played in my mind for the last couple of days. I don't know you, but you need a better argument than this. "We just don't have time in our lives for outside affairs."? Because people who cheat on their spouces schedule it in their calendar?????
"We just don't have time to NOT trust each other."? Because people who are cheated on NEVER thought their spouce was untrustworthy?
I'm sorry, but out the hundreds of other comments, this one has re-played in my mind for the last couple of days.
I don't know you, but you need a better argument than this.

]]> By: kirk http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/2009/08/the-great-hot-assistant-debate/#comment-285036 kirk Mon, 10 Aug 2009 00:47:30 +0000 http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/?p=8211#comment-285036 There are certainly sins that could be avoided by not having a "hot" assistant, but if it is anything more than distraction then I think there is far more at work than just her looks. On one hand, I believe we'd all agree it's much easier to prevent the situation than it is to escape it. But it may be good to remember also that when you are working closely with someone, things other than "hot" can be sources of attraction that can yield the same problems. Protect your holiness, even if it is only a distraction of the mind! It still inhibits fellowship with the Father, and that is a far greater danger for the minister. It's that fellowship that must fail first before there's any other danger. There are certainly sins that could be avoided by not having a "hot" assistant, but if it is anything more than distraction then I think there is far more at work than just her looks. On one hand, I believe we'd all agree it's much easier to prevent the situation than it is to escape it. But it may be good to remember also that when you are working closely with someone, things other than "hot" can be sources of attraction that can yield the same problems.

Protect your holiness, even if it is only a distraction of the mind! It still inhibits fellowship with the Father, and that is a far greater danger for the minister. It's that fellowship that must fail first before there's any other danger.

]]> By: Marcus http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/2009/08/the-great-hot-assistant-debate/#comment-284653 Marcus Sat, 08 Aug 2009 21:22:13 +0000 http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/?p=8211#comment-284653 Totally with you Los Totally with you Los

]]> By: joanpball http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/2009/08/the-great-hot-assistant-debate/#comment-284571 joanpball Sat, 08 Aug 2009 16:42:57 +0000 http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/?p=8211#comment-284571 Hi Bevery: Thank you for the kind words, but trust me when I say that any modicum of wisdom that comes from anything I write or say comes from He that is in me not she (read me) whose default without the Spirit is definately in the world. How lucky we to believe in a God that actually will transform us if we let Him! As for seminary, I am studying for my PhD in Organizational Leadership right now at a school with a committment to Christian scholarship. Soon after I became a Christian in 2003 I thought I might want to go, but was told by a wise mentor that one should only go to seminary if the calling is so strong that you "can't not go". I've felt that sort of calling, but not in the direction of seminary. But that's enough about me. I went over to your blog and love your writing. Was thrilled to read your background and learn we have some things in common - a background in PR and recent move to writing on more personal topics. Would love to connect with you and learn more about your aspirations. I've spent the last few years learning about the both the creative and the business side of publishing world, which can be daunting for folks without big names or big connections. I don't pretend to be a guru, but would be happy to share what I've learned if you think it would help you move forward in pursuing that dream. I'll follow you on Twitter so we can connect. I'm @joanpball. Hi Bevery: Thank you for the kind words, but trust me when I say that any modicum of wisdom that comes from anything I write or say comes from He that is in me not she (read me) whose default without the Spirit is definately in the world. How lucky we to believe in a God that actually will transform us if we let Him! As for seminary, I am studying for my PhD in Organizational Leadership right now at a school with a committment to Christian scholarship. Soon after I became a Christian in 2003 I thought I might want to go, but was told by a wise mentor that one should only go to seminary if the calling is so strong that you "can't not go". I've felt that sort of calling, but not in the direction of seminary. But that's enough about me.

I went over to your blog and love your writing. Was thrilled to read your background and learn we have some things in common – a background in PR and recent move to writing on more personal topics. Would love to connect with you and learn more about your aspirations. I've spent the last few years learning about the both the creative and the business side of publishing world, which can be daunting for folks without big names or big connections. I don't pretend to be a guru, but would be happy to share what I've learned if you think it would help you move forward in pursuing that dream. I'll follow you on Twitter so we can connect. I'm @joanpball.

]]> By: Beverly Brown http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/2009/08/the-great-hot-assistant-debate/#comment-284537 Beverly Brown Sat, 08 Aug 2009 14:40:15 +0000 http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/?p=8211#comment-284537 Joan: I'm sorta late to the party, here, but I like everything you've said here. On a somewhat related note... You say you have "somewhat little familiarity with ministry." I've seen your comments in other blogs and they just exude wisdom. Is seminary in your future? Just sayin. Joan: I'm sorta late to the party, here, but I like everything you've said here. On a somewhat related note… You say you have "somewhat little familiarity with ministry." I've seen your comments in other blogs and they just exude wisdom. Is seminary in your future? Just sayin.

]]> By: NPCCattendee http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/2009/08/the-great-hot-assistant-debate/#comment-284531 NPCCattendee Sat, 08 Aug 2009 14:18:17 +0000 http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/?p=8211#comment-284531 I have a brother inlaw that refuses to allow his wife (my sister) to coach high school boys cross country team. He feels there will be to much overwhelming temptation for her. He doesn't like the way the boys look at her. He has asked me before why I would allow my wife to attend business trips with only males. I looked at him increduously and said "Allow!?!?! Allow?!?! Are you serious? If I can't trust my wife... then who could I trust? I have a brother inlaw that refuses to allow his wife (my sister) to coach high school boys cross country team. He feels there will be to much overwhelming temptation for her. He doesn't like the way the boys look at her. He has asked me before why I would allow my wife to attend business trips with only males. I looked at him increduously and said "Allow!?!?! Allow?!?! Are you serious? If I can't trust my wife… then who could I trust?

]]> By: NPCCattendee http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/2009/08/the-great-hot-assistant-debate/#comment-284530 NPCCattendee Sat, 08 Aug 2009 14:17:57 +0000 http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/?p=8211#comment-284530 The comments about "The Rules" in the bylaws of some of these churches are disheartening. The one about sitting in the parking lot until another person comes to work, so you're not alone with someone in the office?? Not having lunch, conversations, riding in a car - with a person of the opposite sex? Huh? My wife regularly has lunches with male, female coworkers - one on one. It doesn't bother me in the least. I am a stay at home Dad that meets up with other Mom's for play dates for our kids. We just don't have time in our lives for outside affairs. We just don't have time to NOT trust each other. We set aside time to talk every evening before bed and every morning over breakfast. Attraction to other people have come up in our conversations before. Will temptations present themselves - definitely. Will temptations be acted upon - I hope not. You have to put your trust in your spouse and in God. The comments about "The Rules" in the bylaws of some of these churches are disheartening. The one about sitting in the parking lot until another person comes to work, so you're not alone with someone in the office?? Not having lunch, conversations, riding in a car – with a person of the opposite sex? Huh?

My wife regularly has lunches with male, female coworkers – one on one. It doesn't bother me in the least. I am a stay at home Dad that meets up with other Mom's for play dates for our kids. We just don't have time in our lives for outside affairs. We just don't have time to NOT trust each other.

We set aside time to talk every evening before bed and every morning over breakfast. Attraction to other people have come up in our conversations before. Will temptations present themselves – definitely. Will temptations be acted upon – I hope not. You have to put your trust in your spouse and in God.

]]> By: Jess http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/2009/08/the-great-hot-assistant-debate/#comment-284202 Jess Fri, 07 Aug 2009 14:40:31 +0000 http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/?p=8211#comment-284202 dang... get it alicia dang… get it alicia

]]> By: Alicia http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/2009/08/the-great-hot-assistant-debate/#comment-284197 Alicia Fri, 07 Aug 2009 14:14:03 +0000 http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/?p=8211#comment-284197 I think I know many non-Christians who would read through this discussion with horror and disbelief then add it to the list as to why they don't believe in Jesus. Even as one who had been a Christian for 8 years I have a hard time reading this and finding the love that Jesus talks about having for everyone. Yes, men certainly need to be aware of temptation and weakness then guard against them as needed. and Yes, sometimes that means cutting out their own eyes. Finally, yes, it is a beautiful way to show love and commitment to their wives. However, as a woman who has been objectified for her looks, I can honestly say that at first this post outraged me. It is putting women in a glass box and using Christian lingo to separate the pretty ones from the ugly ones and then assigning them roles as deemed appropriate. Women have souls, gifts, minds, capabilities, and responsibilities to act to the glory of God - attractive to you or not. We are capable of withholding flirtatious behavior just as men are capable of turning their eye. Do you doubt the power of the Holy Spirit? Do you wish to rearrange and remodel the Church as Christ has painted her - so you can live an easier life with regard to temptation? Do not talk as though we are just bodies that float around, meant to tempt you. We get that enough when we step outside your church walls. I think I know many non-Christians who would read through this discussion with horror and disbelief then add it to the list as to why they don’t believe in Jesus. Even as one who had been a Christian for 8 years I have a hard time reading this and finding the love that Jesus talks about having for everyone. Yes, men certainly need to be aware of temptation and weakness then guard against them as needed. and Yes, sometimes that means cutting out their own eyes. Finally, yes, it is a beautiful way to show love and commitment to their wives.

However, as a woman who has been objectified for her looks, I can honestly say that at first this post outraged me. It is putting women in a glass box and using Christian lingo to separate the pretty ones from the ugly ones and then assigning them roles as deemed appropriate. Women have souls, gifts, minds, capabilities, and responsibilities to act to the glory of God – attractive to you or not. We are capable of withholding flirtatious behavior just as men are capable of turning their eye. Do you doubt the power of the Holy Spirit? Do you wish to rearrange and remodel the Church as Christ has painted her – so you can live an easier life with regard to temptation?

Do not talk as though we are just bodies that float around, meant to tempt you. We get that enough when we step outside your church walls.

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