The Old Lady And Those Boobies
10 years.
I have been married 10 years this week.
And let me tell you, the fire is still there.
Don’t believe me?
Well…
This weekend I am leading worship at one of my favorite churches.
Seacoast Church in Charleston, SC.
These guys get it.
One of my favorite worship leaders on the planet is on staff here, Martin Chaulk.
So anyways, here I am. Getting to know the band, volunteers, staff.
Heather is in Palm Springs with her Sandals girls.
They are laying out by the pool while I am serving the Lord…
These AMAZING volunteers provided us with dinner.
Some sort of southern fried fatness goodness.
It was all prepared by what had to be the definition of a Southern Charleston Belle.
I’m guessing she was 80. She was sweet and her voice had a southern drawl that would make that chubby white haired lady on the Food Network sound British.
I ate her food, said yes “ma’am” several times, told her how much I enjoyed it, and apologized once or twice for the volume at which the band was playing at that morning.
I went out of the room for a moment and returned to find the sweet old southern belle holding my iPhone.
“Mr. Whittaker, I think this is for you.”
From about 10 feet away I could see that someone had text messaged me.
On the iPhone the message wakes up the phone from sleep and displays it on that bright little 6″ screen.
She was holding it facing me.
The closer I got the wider my eyes got.
At last I saw the screen.
My wife, the love of my life, the beans in my maracas, decided to text message me a picture while her and her girlfriends were laying out by the pool…
“See you Monday baby” it read.
And right there, smack dab on the middle of the screen, was the best shot of her cleavage I have ever seen.
I didn’t want to look up.
I just wanted my phone and to walk away.
But when I went to grab my phone, the 80 year old southern belle from Charleston with the southern drawl that would make the chubby white haired lady on the Food Network sound british, grabbed my hand as I grabbed the phone.
I looked up.
She smiled.
Not just any smile take it.
But the kind of smile that the red head on the Delta safety video gives when she waves her finger at you to tell you that there is no smoking on the flight.
That smile.
The smile of an 80 year old woman telling me that I’m naughty and it’s ok.
I took the phone, mumbled “thanks ma’am”, turned around, and walked towards the stage.
“You are most certainly welcome young man”, she replied.
I’m just hoping, that out of my misery, her husband gets a text message that will send him back to 1942…
Mi vida loca…
Los
RAIN IT DOWN
This is totally awesome! You have a brilliant wife!!
Wishing you both a well deserved Happy Anniversary!
I recently sent my wife a text like that. Except that I accidentally sent it to a local youth pastor instead. Massively embarrassing!
I’m sure you’re exaggerating.. I’m sure it was only a “little” embarrassment
that is a totally sweet post!
and good for the little 80 yr-old lady. And good for Heather! And I’m picturing your face when you saw your text. 
And just grinnin’ and grinnin’.
This is too funny… I read this post to my kids (don’t worry all old enough to hear it…) and they laughed too.
AWESOME!!!! hahahahaha so awesome!!! it’s inspiring to me to see couples still be into each other and still wanted to keep things hot, even after kids and being married for a while!! so incredible!!!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to you and Heather!!!
Which is exactly why the “preview” function is off on my iPhone and why the number 2 rule(right after don’t play with FIRE!!!!!!) in our house is don’t mess with your dads phone…..ever!!!!
Sweet! Enjoy London dude!
I have nothing to contribute, but I just had to write and say HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAhahahahaaahahahaahaaaaaaaaahaahaaaaaaa haaa haaaaaa *breathe*
Los,
GREAT seeing you at WiBo. My sister texted me today. She said “guess who was our worship leader this weekend?” (she goes to Seacoast). She really liked you & the music. Thought it was cool we both had the Los-experience in the same weekend, though we were in different states.
Happy Anniversary. Enjoy London!
–Terrace Crawford
http://www.terracecrawford.com
http://www.twitter.com/terracecrawford
ha!!! I love it!!!!! now to text my husband…
Am I the only one wondering where the link is to the picture she sent you?
Nope. You’re just the only one brave enough to ask…
Oh, that is classic! And that picture of you, with your phone? Hilarious! Thanks for making me smile today!
Score! Nice reminder.
lol…what a great story. That is so awesome. Throw a little Bonnie Raitt on… “let’s give ‘em something to talk about…”
Hahahaha!
I hope she knew it was your wife!
great story, read it to my wife. (19 years and going strong) loved it…
God bless
I LOVE IT!!!! Happy Anniversary to you and your wife!! 10 years is great(we’re at almost 18 and the fire is still there too!!) God certainly has blessed you with a wonderful family.
This is *exactly* why I won’t send suggestive e-mails/texts to my husband. I’m just SURE his boss would somehow get to the e-mail/message before him.
Love it and love a spicy old lady…I am working on being one, myself!
HA! I’ve got my own baaaaaaad story worse than that so I’ll probably not be sending any more naughty emails to my husband!
I love seeing married couples with the fire burning after many years of marriage. It’s so encouraging
Thanks for sharing your boobie tale!
LOL Love it. I want hear Heather’s take on it
Made me think of this post from Pearmama : http://pearmama.blogspot.com/2010/05/ill-call-this-one-great-adundance-of.html
haha!
Ha! That is too funny! It was great meeting you at Seacoast Saturday (and I won’t tell Martin Chalk that you forgot his name…)
Sounds like you and your wife are still keeping things muy caliente.
No shame, bro.
I’m still chuckling, though. But still kind of hoping I get one of those messages in my near future.
A wise sage once told me “True love waits. But after ‘I do’, true love gets after it.”
Great story! And, something about the word ‘boobies’ makes me chuckle.
Hey hey hey slow yer roll there. Let’s keep it G-rated Mister. This is supposed to be a family blog.
Keep your kids off my blog.
This is a LIFE blog.
And sex is a very good thing.
AMEN
Martin Smith??? Like, from Delirious? He is at Seacoast?
haha. love this man. nothing like a good text
you are messed up!
Ha ha, that is amazing… so funny…
Absolutely awesome!
Great book I’m reading by Dr. Les Parrott, Crazy Good Sex. He would heartily approve (Christian book for da haterz)
I travel and teach Army soldiers, and if my wife knows I’m on podium she’ll text me pics. Why? Because (1) she knows I’ll check midsentence and (2) after 10 years together we still know how to romance each other.
Kudos to you and your wife for keeping the fires lit!
That is the greatest story ever, from every angle. I can’t wait until I fall in love like that, and have my rainbow family, and just loll happily in the euphoria that is unending love.
That southern lady rocks my socks, too. I hope I’m jazzy like that in my oldies.
This is the very reason I don’t let the iPhone display the message when it comes in
Mine just wakes up and says “TEXT MESSAGE”.
Great story. Something similar happened to me and my wife a couple of years ago. She had thought she look particularly nice in a new top she had bought and so she sent me a close-up of all the best bits. I agreed whole-heartedly and since NOBODY but me ever sees my phone, I set it as my background pic. Well, not too long after that, we were hanging out with some friends and I left my phone. One of our friends opened it to see if they could tell whose it was. When we got it back, the missus made me change the background. lol.
Oh my gosh! that is hilarious – I am crying laughing. Your wife rocks – that is so funny… tee heee hee!!! still laughing…
That’s so funny:) Your wife is awesome!!!
Hahahahaha…. I’ve had a few similar close calls. That’s good stuff. Thanks for the vasectomy advice @ Wibo…
That.
Is.
AWESOME.
I’m busting a gut, only because a similar situation happened to me. I was leading worship for a youth service and my daughter was being watched by the pastors mother in law while playing with my phone. I had not erased a picture from my wife similar to what you are describing and she found it, and old lady saw it… She sent my daughter straight to the keyboard to return the phone with the picture still up while I’m singing! Thankfully no one else saw it! Lol!
this is amazingly hilarious for so many reasons. i completely understand your embarrassment though! just last week i left my boss a message on his machine THINKING it was my husband’s. yeah… when i got called into his office monday morning he handed me his phone and pressed play. yeah. i was mortified.
Just like AMBER said “I have nothing to contribute” but bahahahahahahahah. Thanks for the belly laugh this afternooon
Ha Ha. My wife and I hit 10 years in two weeks time. I hope I get a text message like that
Absolutely awesome.
dude! great story and great that you and your wife are keeping the fire going! Happy Anniversary bro!
my husband sent me a text a few months ago propositioning me. Well, after he sent it and didn’t get a response, turns out he put in the wrong # and sent it to someone we don’t know! He had to write back and apologize.
HAHAHAHA!!! That is hilarious. A friend of mine’s wife sent a text like that (even less clothes) to the wrong person a couple weeks ago. Luckily it went to her best friend (female). For whatever reason, everyone asked, “What if that had gone to John?” That would have been AWKWARD.
I could not stop ROFLing at work. I was laughing so hard that my stomach hurt. This was awesome. Congrats on the 10 years.
How do you get away with writing this with out critics? Or do you have those critics? I used the word ‘poop’ in a social media outlet and was told that it wasn’t very tasteful and that I should use discretion when I write. My husband is a leader in the church and I guess they thought it was wrong of me to use that word. I can’t imagine what would have been said if I were to talk about my husband sending me texts of his moobies. (man boobies) LOL Tell me how to do manage people criticizing you being such a real christian. BTW I admire that about you.
For the record, I am Leah’s husband and I do not have moobies!
hahahaha! you two are cute!
Because critics don’t last very long around here.
They can’t handle the heat.
Thanks for being REAL, Carlos!!!! And HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to you and Heather! Great story!
So I feel stupid now. Sorry I didn’t realize this was a previous post. Happy (early) Anniversary!
hilarious!
happy anniversary!
hmmm, this year will be our 19th. i think the only pic safe to send brent is, um…a pic of my calf.
dang.
Dude, I just sent that sweet lady a thank you card right before I read this post. Looks like I might be sending another
It was great having you with us this weekend!
That.
Was.
Awesome!
I laughed so hard when I read this! Woo-hoo for your wife! And aren’t you glad it was that sweet old lady who answered your text instead of some creepy old dude?
This is both hilarious and awesome. I’m glad you have the guts to post it. Its encouraging to see the fire still exists!
LOL! Cute post! I wish you many more years of a happy marriage!
Great story! This must happen to you a lot, because I could have sworn I remembered reading a post from you a couple of years ago with the exact same story. More power to ya anyway!
Pl
PLease ignore that last comment from the idiot (me) who didn’t realize he was reading an old post! Duh.
ROTF LOL… sucha a fun post!
Unfortunately I’ve had to stop this type of behavior due to my 9 year olds love of answering the phone. Anytime it makes a sound she thinks she has to look at it. It’s an awkward situation coming home from work and having to explain to your 9 year old what a “Furburger” is and why daddy wants to eat it. Sorry if I offended anyone.
this was a totally pg version of that. But in your case, yes, hide the ph. lol
1. Make sure you make yourself a copy
2. Remember this is a gift of God to you
3. Seriously, it probably bought up some good memories for her
4. Thank your beautiful wife as soon as possible.
God made Adam and Eve, enjoy:) and you have awesome children, losiah is hilarious, Your daughters worship you, and you need to put your wife in more of your vids. I watch them all, and It is such a blessing to me. It gets me through a lot of tough times on my couch in lots of pain, and again you made me smile. thank you so much. Diana