It’s Not You, It’s Me – A Message To My Facebook Friends
So I have been dragging my feet on this.
Over the next few days I am going to be slowly but surely unfriending ALMOST everybody in my facebook personal account.
So this means like 99% of you.
Let me tell you why…
I need at least one personal space. Just one.
One where I can be a little crude…oh wait, that happens here.
One where I can share dark secrets…oh wait, that happens here.
See. You won’t miss a thing. And really you wont.
And seeing that there is a limit of 5000 friends on your personal page, I was starting to have to say, “Sorry I don’t have room” to friends and family that are just getting on facebook that I want to connect with.
There are many ways in which you guys can stay connected to my innermost thoughts and crazy life.
1. This blog – For you readers who I love and stop by here everyday, this is ground zero. Those who just follow me on twitter and facebook are missing the good stuff. This right here is the good stuff. The meat. So stick around and you won’t miss a thing.
2. My twitter – This is the random crap. The stuff that happens every few hours and all the good secret ninja pics I take of people sitting next to me on planes. If you haven’t started following me on twitter, these pics are worth the follow alone. My facebook personal page was almost an exact duplicate of my twitter feed. So many of you were seeing things twice anyways.
3. My facebook “Carlos Whittaker” page. This page does not limit me to 5000 friends. And it pretty much does EVERYTHING my personal page does. I’m also linking my twitter feed there so you honestly will miss absolutely NOTHING.
1. I hope by doing this anyone who want to keep connecting with me on the topics of my blog and music will still have a place to do so (not limited by the 5000 number)
2. friends and family will have a more relevant place to connect with me
3. I will feel slightly less torn each day about what to post (and what not to post) on my personal page.
If you want to stay connected on facebook it is EASY.
Just click http://www.facebook.com/CarlosWhittaker
I’m sure I’m going to accidentally defriend some people I don’t want to. With 5000 people to go through it is bound to happen… Please just add me again and we can continue our virtual spooning process.
I think that this is going to be great for me and just know you wont miss a thing by hanging out HERE on facebook!
RAIN IT DOWN
I recently did the same thing. I didn’t have 5,000 friends, but I was nearing 2k. I wiped all those whom I didn’t personally know or never spoke with from the account and redirected them to my fan page. I added a few people back later for networking purposes, but it is SO much more manageable now at around 700 people. I’ll have to do a cleanup again, I’m sure, but I’m all set for now.
The elimination process isn’t fast though, I discovered, especially if you try to warn everybody first. Let’s see how fast you can pull it off…
Mandee
Seeing that i am at a campground with one bar of cell signal…I’m thinking a few weeks…
Oh and P.S. I’m already on your fan page and Twitter, so we’re cool. I don’t think I ever added you as a friend anyway.
People have to have a reason for my to friend them, which means I have a reason to keep up with them.
And I guess that means you’re “unfriending” me…I don’t have a Twitter, so I’ll miss your random posts and pics. But I love your blog and won’t leave this
Heather. You won’t miss out on my randomness because I have them all here!!! http://www.facebook.com/carloswhittaker
Just click “like” on that page and the SAME stuff will appear there that was on my facebook page.
It’s the same as a profile without the limits of the 5000!
Get it?
Oh! Cool!
I’m already connected to all those as well so I won’t cry for too long. I guess the only loss is that I wouldn’t be able to say, “look, I’m friends with Carlos Whittaker!” anymore…now I’m just another follower.
Nah, I’m good. You have to be able to get away and have a place of your own somewhere. Do what you gotta do. We’ll still be here.
JG
WHy thanks Johnathan.
How long you been around these parts?
Haha, been lurking for about a year and a half. I Comment every now and then. I was at whiteboard (which reminds me I owe you an email about homeschooling). I’m pretty much everywhere now, lol. Twitter, Facebook, Flickr, Tumblr…I get around.
Tottaly understand, I actually unfriended you first to save you a little bit of time, love the blog and twitter, don’t really need be friends on facebook.
You shouldn’t apologize for wanting a little privacy in your life for your family, close friends and most of all YOURSELF!! Way to go Carlos, you deserve the right to say “deny” and not feel bad about it! haha
gracias But I still feel bad!!!!!!!
I agree with Jennifer, you gotta have some space. As a mom, I often crave my “own space”.
agreed!!
Don’t feel bad. You need some privacy and if that’s your personal pg on FB so be it. I have your FB fan pg, the blog and twitter, love reading them all
Christina
I don’t think anyone is going to fault you for making space in your social media life that is limited to IRL genuine quality relationships.
In fact, I think we should be worried if you didn’t…
go unfriend crazy
unfriending…3…2…1…
Great decision. I do the same with my Facebook account, as do most others.
I don’t think anyone will disagree with your decision, but it was probably a wise move to explain it just to be sure.
Yea. I can just see it now… Carlos Whittaker Hates Me…
I get round this problem by not having a Facebook account and choosing carefully who I follow on Twitter. This means I’m under no illusion as to how many friends I have!
Good on you los for carving out some more private space online – you have a right to that. Enjoy the relative quiet, friend!
Well Andy. Since we have hugged about 4 times in real life, when you get around to having a Facebook…friend me mate.
Well, if that’s not an incentive to get a FB account…! Maybe one day.
I totally understand. I typically only have friends on FB at I actually know in real life. I don’t add people joust toe adding them. I still purge from time to time if it is someone overly negative or someone who only sends me farmville requests.
Clay I really need some nails to finish my barn, do you have any you can spare :0
Just remember who loaned you his guitar…….. ;^)
Do what you need to bro!
d.
HAHAHA!!! HIS AMAZING GUITAR!!!!
Makes total sense to me… your Tweets are more interesting than your Facebook Fan page updates anyhow.
Yup. And they will end up there anyways…
Los, I did what you are doing when I hit 300 FB friends. Even at 300, I struggle to keep it that low b/c I only want people on there that I have a meaningful relationship with. I did not just want lurkers on my FB. If people want to lurk, check out my blog or Twitter. There are some things and photos I only post on Facebook. Each summer I do a FB cleanse. Now might be a good time for me too. Go ahea and unfriendly me. I’ll get my Whittaker hookup via email or just ask Jason what you guys talked about. lol
hahahahaha. See. But you made it in anyways…
I should have read that before I posted. I really can communicate well…
I like it when you dont proofread
Peace out homie, it’s been fun, I went ahead and removed you so you don’t have to remove me. Maybe by posting this kind of thing, you’ll have other people that delete you first and save you the “trouble”!
I, too, have been going through my friend list recently and removing people I just don’t connect with for whatever reason. It can be kind of tough sometimes to “remove” a “friend”…maybe they should have an “acquaintance” list!
The first rule I follow is: If i don’t know you, I don’t add you. Then if I do know you and I add you, but you don’t talk to me and fill my page with random stuff, then I delete. I guess it’s hard to do that in your case, but the fan page will be a better idea.
I actually just did this same thing. I have an online ministry and a lot of the readers of the site were friending me on FB. I felt so torn about what I could/should post on my personal account and wasn’t connecting with my family because I was opting to say nothing instead.
So, three days ago I did a group delete and kept it to the peeps I love face to face.
Freedom. Feels good.
I’m not certain, my memory is weak, but I think that the connection with you to my FB page was made to pass along the info for your music on itunes so that all by FB friends would help you get to your goal of being #1 there.
I’ve unfriended you, so you won’t need to ELIMINATE me!
I’m a very, very small fish in God’s huge pond, and so issues with 5000 friends will never be a problem. I friend everyone who asks me, as long as I know them, or have known them in my lifetime (one guy I deleted because he was completey unknown and he creeped me out!) I keep my FB page as if I were posting to the whole world. That is, I don’t post anything that I wouldn’t want the whole world to read. The very intimate things I keep for face to face communication.
One of my heroes, CS Lewis was known for answering every letter that was written to him. I wonder what he’d have done on FB.
I was just talking about this w/a friend in ministry last night… crazy!
you gotta have your personal space in ministry – or else people you don’t know will consume you.
I admire you for creating boundaries (and if you defriend me, I promise it won’t hurt my feelings. I will def. still come back to the bloggy blog!)
hahaha Didn’t Chris Brogan and Darren Rowse have this same headline when they did this exact same thing?
It’s interesting to watch you guys do this. I have a small network on Facebook but am debating the issue of whether or not I can have too many friends (obviously once the 5,000 limit is reached, it does break down because, like you said, you can’t even add family and people you really want to add).
Thanks for a little insight into you thought process here.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
Carlos,
I think it is a great idea and I have done the same several times on my Facebook.
Your post actually reminds me that it is probably time to do it again.
That’s all…
feel free to blow me up in FB if you need to. ive got your cell phone number.
btw, i like your idea!
m.
Remeber the date folks…
Los’s down fall… Posted on 05. Jul, 2010 by loswhit in Amigos, Web/Tech
JK
:) Love ya bro… When are you coming to Trinity House with us… August 2nd…
Can’t wait to see your post the day after…
Carlos: A couple of friends here in Austin have taken the same approach with their Facebook Pages recently, and I’m considering following suit. As with you, I have a blog or three, a Twitter account, and a public Flickr account where people can keep up with me and my work/business/community projects. Facebook (at least my personal profile page) feels much more personal to me–and putting up some fences to keep it that way ain’t the worst idea in the world! Good for you for drawing the line.
Here’s a post that my pal Kyle Flaherty published this morning about “pruning” his list of Facebook friends:
http://www.dancewithstrangers.com/2010/07/07/how-to-purge-facebook-and-feel-so-good/
It even includes a flowchart (!) mapping out how he decided whether to keep or cut loose each friend.
Nicely done! I’ve got a few “twiends” (twitter friends) that have also friended me on Facebook. Which I’ve let slide… but my Facebook friends primarily consist of people I’ve actually met and interact with in my personal life. I keep it up for the high school kids I mentor at my church. I use it for posting pictures during our annual Ministry Tour and interacting with personal friends. I’ll occasionally get some interaction on there with people that I’d like to interact with on my blog. But it’s no big deal for me because… well… I don’t have the kind of following you have Los.
Kudos to you for making this distinction between your personal life and your “other” personal life!
Good for you, Los!
I fully concur. I want somewhere just a little more private. In a world where suddenly every personal private conversation you have with your closer circle becomes more and more broadcast… and everyone who’s a fan, or passed you in the street, or met you in 3rd grade supposedly, wants to be your “friend”… it can be overwhelming.
Good for you, Los. Good for you!
My standard is dinner. If I wouldn’t have you over for dinner you just can’t be my “Friend” on Facebook. That doesn’t mean you’re not a good person, that’s just the standard. I also have some people as “Friends” who are there more for networking, but that works because my network is much smaller than yours!
Peace!
I’m loving the fact that you’re setting up some personal space.
Personally:
– LinkedIn I use for folks I’ve actually met/done business with. If not, I won’t connect unless there is a real business reason to do so (ie email me with reason)
– Twitter is wide open. If I’m interested in the tweet stream you’re flowin I’ll hop in and invite you to do the same.
– My blog (s)… I’m revamping and starting a second one, but these are wide open too.
I feed the blogs through Twitter and LinkedIn I update with professional stuff.
I used to use Facebook but removed myself. Long story.
Really enjoy following along, bro!