Kill The Spider
I suffer with anxiety.
Like right now for instance.
My heart is beating really fast and I’m dizzy.
My hands are a bit numb and so is my face.
I fear that I will lose control.
The truth is I won’t lose control.
That’s because I am not in control.
So I don’t have it to lose.
I only think I am.
You have your thing.
You are fighting so hard to maintain control of it.
It might not take the form of anxiety.
But it takes the form of something.
Something that you take “control” of that belongs to God.
The manifestation is not the sin.
My anxiety symptoms are not the sin.
Your depression symptoms is not the sin.
Your constant focus on the problem is not the sin.
They are symptoms of the sin.
The sin of wanting to be God in your life instead of letting God be God.
So instead of praying for God to clean the cobwebs out of your life.
Just ask God to kill the spider.
Kill the spider.
Los
RAIN IT DOWN
I love this.
A lot.
Thanks
“So instead of praying for God to clean the cobwebs out of your life. Just ask God to kill the spider.”
If you don’t turn this into a song, I will… and I don’t have an attorney fees when you attempt to sue me for copyright infringement.
/Excellent thought. The spider thing. Not the copyright infringement suit.
Should it be country?
right on, man. great thought to pray about before bed tonight.
my thing has always been bees, not spiders, though. oh man I hate bees.
bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Thanks for the reminder friend!!
I wish, at this very moment, I trusted God enough to kill the spider. I’ve spent yrs waiting and wondering and lately I feel more empty than ever waiting for him to respond and show his glory and grace in my life. So instead I cling to the control, to the mask of pretending it’s really not an issue.
You’re not alone in this… praying for both of us.
Thanks
It’s always nice to know I’m not alone. Praying for you as well.
This is beautiful Carlos. We always seem to make issues out of the details. God help us to get to the roots of our problems.
Amen
Brilliant? I think so.
I heard recently that Timothy Keller describes sin as trying to identify yourself as something or someone other than who God identifies you as.
Just something to think about.
Wow. Love that
You definitely aren’t alone.
I hope that my anxiety is the result of my soul trying to live for a reality that my body cannot yet perceive. It makes me feel a little bit like Neo trying to escape the matrix – with everything feeling real but knowing there’s something a little bit off about it.
Remember to breathe. Think of home.
There are many of us. Many
I want to say wow, ouch and amen to that.
Was on holiday two weeks ago when I got a call telling me I had been made redundant.
We’re excited as we knew God had been telling us things would get shaken up this year – but as I suffer from depression, as well as needing control, the lack of a new job (or any sign of one) has left me anxious, nervous and on edge.
I always tell folks we aren’t worried, God is in control – but can’t help but feel just like that first verse when I’m on my own.
God, please kill the spider – be in Control. Be God.
AmenAmen and thank you
I just did.
sweet.
Thanks.
nicodemusatnite.blogspot.com
you are welcome
thankyou
you are welcome bob.
Wow! Best post I’ve read in a long time! Powerful.
Thanks Kendra
Thanks for this! Have a sweet day!
Thank you…well said.
Deep and profound. Well written bro.
M_
* tears *
i am going through this with my husband…i just told my friend i’ve been watching him fight with God…and it’s killing me! the weeds of doubt and fear are choking out the fruitful plants….
praying for GOD to kill the spider and help me weed the garden!!!
thank your for posting this…it’s EXACTLY what i needed.
Preach it Los!
WOW That is great, thanks for it!!
U coming to Catalyst East?
Mine is our adoption paperwork. There is such a ton of it, and I only want to do it once, and I want to get it done as quickly as possible, and I want it to go smoothly, and….
Of course, perhaps it isn’t God’s plan for us to only do it once. Maybe we’re supposed to meet someone in the second go around that we’re supposed to witness to.
Maybe we aren’t supposed to be done so quickly. Maybe our little girl isn’t born yet and we need to accept God’s timing instead of our own.
Maybe it isn’t supposed to go smoothly so that we can empathize with someone down the road when they are going through the same issues themselves and are, maybe, on the verge of giving up on the process.
We either trust God, or we don’t. In my case, it’s mostly that I trust Him, but I’d really, REALLY be alot more laid back if he followed my timeline instead of His.
But I know that would be worse in the long run. Doesn’t keep the deep down part of me from stressing though….I wish it did.
Paul
I love this…printed it out and have it hanging on my mirror, my fridge and my office wall. I suffer from panic attacks and this summer they have happened more than any in my life. Thank you for this poem…it is helping already!
went straight to my heart. love this.
WOAH! So I don’t have to be a mighty spider slayer… because GOD IS!!! SWEET!!!!
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I’m going on retreat this weekend to a Trappist monastery. Instead of “working on” my shortcomings, I’m going to be praying that I can get out of the way so God can take out all the spiders he sees fit to remove from my life.
You’d think 22 is an age too young for someone to deal with anxiety and depression. Not. So.
Huff!
I don’t even WANT to imagine what life will be like when I have real responsibilities.
I like this “kill the spider” idea!
good word.
since i got married a few months ago i’ve been living in a city i didn’t pick, going to a church i didn’t pick, living in a house i didn’t pick, with furniture i didn’t pick and nearly going crazy (though loving being married to my sweet husband). what is my spider: control.
when i was single i could (seemingly) control everything about my life. i ate dinner when i was hungry, hung out with my friends, lived in an apartment i found and went to the church of my choosing.
my husband has continually offered to change furniture, churches, houses anything but i allowed the practical side to decline knowing we would only live here for a few months before he would finish school and we would move out of town. so i have had head aches and countless other physical symptoms of stress and anxiety instead of giving up control of my life.
i sit here with tears in my eyes because i know any semblance of control i have is a mirage and that the Lord is really in control of where i am and where i will be. And God is really a good and kind God who directs my life to glorify him. He has always been kind to me and i have always been the stubborn daughter who wishes for silver when she has been given gold.
next month we are moving to a city we both picked and we found our apartment last weekend and i’m glad about that, but wishing i would have crushed my spider earlier but i’m thankful for the last few months because they have showed me how giant my spider is and how small my faith is.