Nay. We just spent time with an overly public PDA couple and it was uncomfortable for us. Like mid conversation they would start making out. My husband and I have never been publicly affectionate because of the ministry nature we exist in (youth and kids).
Haha. Yes. I don’t perceive a kiss on the cheek as PDA. I think of it as making out and overly touchy in public….like hanging off one another. But that’s my definition.
FOR IT! Making out, kissing, cuddling, hand holding, tush grabbing. Why can’t we show the world what love looks like? If all the married people never touch each other what kind of message does that send? As long as it’s not rated R levels, I think it’s fine.
agreed!!!! i’m in a serious relationship but not married (yet)… i see couples all the time that make me think that married life is a bore and that couples aren’t attracted to their spouses after they say “i do”. it’s a bit stressful to think about.
I agree with Amber, that picture makes me smile. I am cool with some hand holding, and a few smooches here and there, but noone should walk with their arms around their partner with hands in their back pockets
Proverbs 16:2 –>People may think all their ways are pure, but motives are weighed by the LORD.
if your motives on hugging/kissing your boyfriend or girlfriend in public are not to glorify the Lord, you probably shouldn’t do it. If you’re showing the rest of the world how in love you are with God by showing affection to another believer, then that’s a little different.
In general, PDA makes a lot of people uncomfortable.
sooooo
Another verse …
Romans 14:19-21–> Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.
if PDA is going to cause other brothers and sisters in Christ to stumble, don’t do it. If they can’t resist greater temptations, seeing you hug/kiss all over your love may make them feel like what they’re doing is okay. Lift up your brothers and sisters in Christ, don’t bring them down with PDA
Interesting perspective…my motive is to show love to my family (which is honoring to God)…and I hope it inspires others to love on their family and cherish them. I never thought of it as a stumbling block…but then again I’m not all over my husband in an innapropriate way IMO.
I appreciate you bringing this back to Scripture. Question: what does it mean by stumble? I often hear folks use this passage, but I’ve never gotten a good perspective on what stumbling actually is. At first read one might think you mean that someone stumbles when they’re uncomfortable.
I agree it’s kind of hard to first understand what it means by stumble. What I think the bible is trying to say can be better understood if you replace “stumble” with “sin” or even as it is later stated in the same passage, “fall.” If something you do causes your bother or sister in Christ to sin, or sin more often, or sin with less feelings of shame and guilt then that’s where you’re in the wrong. Hope that makes sense?
Didn’t PDA save Sarah from becoming a concubine for Pharaoh?
Also, I see somewhat the point you’re making, but at the same time I think that I can’t go around every second of the day worrying about whether or not something I may or may not do is causing another person to stumble.
I’m all for loving one another, but my husband definitely comes before anybody else. And if the dude needs a hug or a little kiss, I’m giving it to him. If my showing my husband affection in public offends somebody, I guess I’m going to have to let the Lord sort that out for me.
Please note: I’m not talking about making out in public…there are some things that need to stay in the bedroom I don’t care who you are.
There is certainly a ‘too far’ line. But I love, love, love, seeing an older couple holding hands as they walk. There is very little that I find more endearing.
Depends who you ask. My wife thinks a bit of PDA is good for the culture (SE Asia) we live in. I think it’s largely inappropriate… Mostly because it’s SO DANG humid here that my hands sweat constantly (like year-round)… Let alone when they are finger-locked with my wife’s hands.!
I love her dearly but DA, let alone PDA, can only happen in air conditioning when it is 90 degrees and 70% humidity at midnight all year round!
We are huggers, hand holders, and rubbers (and by rubbing I mean, the back, neck, shoulder, arm, hand But our hands are almost always on each other, or on our kids….we’ve produced huggy kids too…my son’s wife is going to adore him!
I’m all for appropriate PDA. It’s refreshing to see affection. It makes me happy when I see people lovin on each other.
I think there is a line. For my wife and I (youth pastors) we may give each other quick smooch from time to time, but you won’t see us in an lingering embraces, or lengthy kisses. Our culture is over-sexed, and the church has gotten stuck in the mire of that too a less than appropriate degree (IMHO).
I get what you are sayig but I do think it is equally unhealthy if it is not obvious to an outside observer that a youth pastor and his wife are married or even together. The relationship you have with each other is the number one model of a loving caring relationship that your youth get outside of their parents relationship, which may or may not be that healthy.
Just MHO
I have a hard time with displaying PDA. Watching my parents I never saw it. Of course, they divorced when I was 5. I try to show some PDA.
But because of who I grew up as and because of the world around me, I’m cynical and sarcastic. So those times are tough because of that.
I think that MARRIED people should be showing PDA. We need to be an example. We need an example. Married life is cool. If we never touch, we look like married life is a drag.
Especially working with the youth and children’s groups. Most of them can look at their parents and not see love and affection. They see anger and pain. So we need to show them what love can and should look like.
Now there is too much PDA, as have said by people above me (like Becka and others), where you shouldn’t be R-rated.
There are different levels of PDA that should be discussed. For example:
Level 1-”Mom and Dad Park Bench Kiss”: Acceptable to pretty much everyone, except for the kids of said parents. Ewwww.
Level 2-”Awkward Wedding Tongue Kiss”: Understandable to most, but might be awkward if the kiss lasts longer than 8 seconds.
Level 3-”Making Out At The Movie Theater”: Seriously, bro, that is what your mom’s basement and Redbox are there for. Surprisingly, Movie Theater can be replaced with Church Service.
Level 4-”Booty Club Lovin’”: No one wants to see that. Get a room.
Now, Level 1 would be acceptable. Level 2 might be stretching it, but that could be used at an appropriate time, i.e., soldiers returning home, coming home after a hard day’s work, etc.
Level 3 and 4 are not acceptable. There are ways to show affection to each other, and I do not want an audience for 3 and 4 in my life. Am I wrong on this?
I’m going to be really honest & say I agree. Is it a double-standard? Probably. But I LOVE to see married couples holding hands & being flirty in public! But when teenagers are walking like they have one torso with two heads…it takes control not to pull them apart & explain that they’re going to be acting this way with a different person next week- & that’s just skeevy!
I just don’t understand why married (or even in love people) should have to keep their affection private? What’s wrong with someone being affectionate in public or on Facebook? I’m married, and if my friends don’t like that I tell my husband that he’s sexy then they can unfriend my on Facebook but that would be ridiculous and lame. I mean really, what has the world come to. This is why I am no longer friends with “Christians”.
It depends who I am around. I work as a youth minister and in an effort to keep my private life PRIVATE, they don’t officially know I’m dating someone (they have their suspicions of course…), so DEFINITELY no PDA in front of them.
Everywhere else, I enjoy (and my boyfriend too) appropriate public displays of affection. I feel like it’s healthy. It used to make me feel uncomfortable until I found someone I really liked…
I work in custom framing, and there was a young couple getting a portrait of themselves framed. It was really difficult to design for them, because I would have to wait for them to stop flirting, nuzzling, and giggling with each other every two seconds to ask them a question.
ME: “May I have your name and phone number?”
THEM: *GIGGLECUDDLEKISS*
ME: “Excuse me… may I–
THEM: *GIGGLEGIGGLECUDDLEKISS*
ME: *facepalm*
I would say PDA is okay in moderation as long as you’re not including others.
Ok with this issue, like many, there’s a divine tension between “Yay” and “Nay” for me…
Discretion rocks… but love was not designed for discretion. If the PDA between a married couple (whether physical or digital i.e. Facebook) is a means of them showing each other God’s love, then I’m with my boys from DC Talk… “LUV IS A VERB”. And if you think you’re going to cause a hurting person to hurt more by indulging in some PDA, then give up your right to smooch until a more appropriate time. To sum it all up, here is my take on answering this question concerning PDA…
LIVE YOUR LIFE LED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT and you will have the Power, love, and sound mind (2Tim 1:7) to know when to or when not to show PDA.
Definitely yes when it’s sweet PDA like holding hands or an arm around the shoulder — especially when they’re married…and when they’re old. But definitely no when it’s awkward. I was around a couple recently who was all over each other. It got to the point where no one wanted to be around them.
For the record,
Went to Spain… and PDA has a whole new meaning! XP
Try gettin’ shoved in the metro by people getting a little too frisky.
Personally, I love to see people being affectionate in a respectable way. I think we should be mature enough to know what’s appropriate for different situations.
Public displays of *affection*? Great. Public displays of *horniness*? Not so much. (Sorry, can’t think of a less crass word that captures that same thing.) The fact that you love your spouse (or serious BF/GF) is alright to be proud of and show the world, but when what you’re displaying is more sexual than affectionate you’re much more likely to make people uncomfortable, because they may feel as though they’re “peeping” in on something that should be intimate and private.
I agree that we need more affection between those who are married and draw the lines for marriage. Public display good in good taste. Save the bedroom stuff for private and with the one you are married to.
RAIN IT DOWN
Ehhh PDA is okay, making out is another matter.
Well, I’m totally cool with public displays of affection, but PUBLIC public displays of affection? That might be going too far.
How stinkin’ cute is that picture?? =D
Agreed!!! I saw it and said “Awwwww.” Out loud. In my room. By myself. Hahha.
Me too! *going to get someone to draw it on*
Yes. I love holding my wife’s hand, hugging and even kissing anytime, anyplace.
But no tongue or groping. Keep it PG people.
Nay. We just spent time with an overly public PDA couple and it was uncomfortable for us. Like mid conversation they would start making out. My husband and I have never been publicly affectionate because of the ministry nature we exist in (youth and kids).
Isn’t that your husband kissing you in your picture there? Just sayin.
HAHA! Busted.
Haha. Yes. I don’t perceive a kiss on the cheek as PDA. I think of it as making out and overly touchy in public….like hanging off one another. But that’s my definition.
Public displays of affection = totally ok. Public displays of “stuff really only married people should do” = not so much.
I agree, you think “PDSROMPSD”, will catch on like PDA? Haha.
FOR IT! Making out, kissing, cuddling, hand holding, tush grabbing. Why can’t we show the world what love looks like? If all the married people never touch each other what kind of message does that send? As long as it’s not rated R levels, I think it’s fine.
agreed!!!! i’m in a serious relationship but not married (yet)… i see couples all the time that make me think that married life is a bore and that couples aren’t attracted to their spouses after they say “i do”. it’s a bit stressful to think about.
in conclusion, gooooo tush grabbing!! haha
I agree with Amber, that picture makes me smile. I am cool with some hand holding, and a few smooches here and there, but noone should walk with their arms around their partner with hands in their back pockets
I’m voting YES…I think this world NEEDS to see more of HEALTHY, HOLY relationships. We’ve certainly seen plenty of UNhealthy and UNholy relationships.
Proverbs 16:2 –>People may think all their ways are pure, but motives are weighed by the LORD.
if your motives on hugging/kissing your boyfriend or girlfriend in public are not to glorify the Lord, you probably shouldn’t do it. If you’re showing the rest of the world how in love you are with God by showing affection to another believer, then that’s a little different.
In general, PDA makes a lot of people uncomfortable.
…
sooooo
Another verse
Romans 14:19-21–> Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.
if PDA is going to cause other brothers and sisters in Christ to stumble, don’t do it. If they can’t resist greater temptations, seeing you hug/kiss all over your love may make them feel like what they’re doing is okay. Lift up your brothers and sisters in Christ, don’t bring them down with PDA
Interesting perspective…my motive is to show love to my family (which is honoring to God)…and I hope it inspires others to love on their family and cherish them. I never thought of it as a stumbling block…but then again I’m not all over my husband in an innapropriate way IMO.
I appreciate you bringing this back to Scripture. Question: what does it mean by stumble? I often hear folks use this passage, but I’ve never gotten a good perspective on what stumbling actually is. At first read one might think you mean that someone stumbles when they’re uncomfortable.
I agree it’s kind of hard to first understand what it means by stumble. What I think the bible is trying to say can be better understood if you replace “stumble” with “sin” or even as it is later stated in the same passage, “fall.” If something you do causes your bother or sister in Christ to sin, or sin more often, or sin with less feelings of shame and guilt then that’s where you’re in the wrong. Hope that makes sense?
Whaaaa whaaaa
Didn’t PDA save Sarah from becoming a concubine for Pharaoh?
Also, I see somewhat the point you’re making, but at the same time I think that I can’t go around every second of the day worrying about whether or not something I may or may not do is causing another person to stumble.
I’m all for loving one another, but my husband definitely comes before anybody else. And if the dude needs a hug or a little kiss, I’m giving it to him. If my showing my husband affection in public offends somebody, I guess I’m going to have to let the Lord sort that out for me.
Please note: I’m not talking about making out in public…there are some things that need to stay in the bedroom I don’t care who you are.
Thanks for listening to my opinion.
There is certainly a ‘too far’ line. But I love, love, love, seeing an older couple holding hands as they walk. There is very little that I find more endearing.
Agreed, it’s a beautiful thing. I think to myself, that’s gonna be us one day…
Public PDA is cool, as long as you’re not doing it while at the ATM machine, taking the SAT test.
Sweet.
My favorite comment by far. Hahahaha!
Depends who you ask. My wife thinks a bit of PDA is good for the culture (SE Asia) we live in. I think it’s largely inappropriate… Mostly because it’s SO DANG humid here that my hands sweat constantly (like year-round)… Let alone when they are finger-locked with my wife’s hands.!
I love her dearly but DA, let alone PDA, can only happen in air conditioning when it is 90 degrees and 70% humidity at midnight all year round!
We are huggers, hand holders, and rubbers (and by rubbing I mean, the back, neck, shoulder, arm, hand
But our hands are almost always on each other, or on our kids….we’ve produced huggy kids too…my son’s wife is going to adore him!
I’m all for appropriate PDA. It’s refreshing to see affection. It makes me happy when I see people lovin on each other.
I think there is a line. For my wife and I (youth pastors) we may give each other quick smooch from time to time, but you won’t see us in an lingering embraces, or lengthy kisses. Our culture is over-sexed, and the church has gotten stuck in the mire of that too a less than appropriate degree (IMHO).
I get what you are sayig but I do think it is equally unhealthy if it is not obvious to an outside observer that a youth pastor and his wife are married or even together. The relationship you have with each other is the number one model of a loving caring relationship that your youth get outside of their parents relationship, which may or may not be that healthy.
Just MHO
I have a hard time with displaying PDA. Watching my parents I never saw it. Of course, they divorced when I was 5. I try to show some PDA.
But because of who I grew up as and because of the world around me, I’m cynical and sarcastic. So those times are tough because of that.
I think that MARRIED people should be showing PDA. We need to be an example. We need an example. Married life is cool. If we never touch, we look like married life is a drag.
Especially working with the youth and children’s groups. Most of them can look at their parents and not see love and affection. They see anger and pain. So we need to show them what love can and should look like.
Now there is too much PDA, as have said by people above me (like Becka and others), where you shouldn’t be R-rated.
everytime I see/hear PDA . . I think of A.A.’s PDA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PE24OFEmRhc
Just thought I’d share the video for nostalgias sake. LOL
you beat me to it! (and yes its the first thing I think of too)
There are different levels of PDA that should be discussed. For example:
Level 1-”Mom and Dad Park Bench Kiss”: Acceptable to pretty much everyone, except for the kids of said parents. Ewwww.
Level 2-”Awkward Wedding Tongue Kiss”: Understandable to most, but might be awkward if the kiss lasts longer than 8 seconds.
Level 3-”Making Out At The Movie Theater”: Seriously, bro, that is what your mom’s basement and Redbox are there for. Surprisingly, Movie Theater can be replaced with Church Service.
Level 4-”Booty Club Lovin’”: No one wants to see that. Get a room.
Now, Level 1 would be acceptable. Level 2 might be stretching it, but that could be used at an appropriate time, i.e., soldiers returning home, coming home after a hard day’s work, etc.
Level 3 and 4 are not acceptable. There are ways to show affection to each other, and I do not want an audience for 3 and 4 in my life. Am I wrong on this?
i, for one, wish my hubby would (peck) kiss & hug me in public MORE often. its like a statement to the world “this is my woman, ain’t she hot?” LOL!
Yes, just don’t let us see your thong. Sorry, just being honest.
Both persons. Seriously.
Haha, nice.
I agree with “there is a line” – there is healthy/appropriate PDA, and there’s the non-appropriate stuff.
I’m a huge romantic, so I’m all about the first kind of PDA, and some day when I have a wife, I’ll be all about the second kind of private DA.
Only in the food court. And only if at least one person has a moofintop.
hahahahha
Married PDA…yes
Teenagers making our PDA…um no
*out not our
I’m going to be really honest & say I agree. Is it a double-standard? Probably. But I LOVE to see married couples holding hands & being flirty in public! But when teenagers are walking like they have one torso with two heads…it takes control not to pull them apart & explain that they’re going to be acting this way with a different person next week- & that’s just skeevy!
Casual public PDA is fine. Facebook PDA is more of a problem, IMO.
If I have to yell “Ehhhhh, get a Facebook room!” at my screen one more time, I’ll…
Seriously! Reading it on Facebook, even between married friends, is nauseating.
I just don’t understand why married (or even in love people) should have to keep their affection private? What’s wrong with someone being affectionate in public or on Facebook? I’m married, and if my friends don’t like that I tell my husband that he’s sexy then they can unfriend my on Facebook but that would be ridiculous and lame. I mean really, what has the world come to. This is why I am no longer friends with “Christians”.
hell no
i mean holding hands and stuff, fine. but there’s a line that it seems only young/horny people cross. that’s not ok.
nay.
no pda or fda (facebook display of affection).
It depends who I am around. I work as a youth minister and in an effort to keep my private life PRIVATE, they don’t officially know I’m dating someone (they have their suspicions of course…), so DEFINITELY no PDA in front of them.
Everywhere else, I enjoy (and my boyfriend too) appropriate public displays of affection. I feel like it’s healthy. It used to make me feel uncomfortable until I found someone I really liked…
Yea, Yea, yea.
hahaha
I work in custom framing, and there was a young couple getting a portrait of themselves framed. It was really difficult to design for them, because I would have to wait for them to stop flirting, nuzzling, and giggling with each other every two seconds to ask them a question.
ME: “May I have your name and phone number?”
THEM: *GIGGLECUDDLEKISS*
ME: “Excuse me… may I–
THEM: *GIGGLEGIGGLECUDDLEKISS*
ME: *facepalm*
I would say PDA is okay in moderation as long as you’re not including others.
Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaa
Ok with this issue, like many, there’s a divine tension between “Yay” and “Nay” for me…
Discretion rocks… but love was not designed for discretion. If the PDA between a married couple (whether physical or digital i.e. Facebook) is a means of them showing each other God’s love, then I’m with my boys from DC Talk… “LUV IS A VERB”. And if you think you’re going to cause a hurting person to hurt more by indulging in some PDA, then give up your right to smooch until a more appropriate time. To sum it all up, here is my take on answering this question concerning PDA…
LIVE YOUR LIFE LED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT and you will have the Power, love, and sound mind (2Tim 1:7) to know when to or when not to show PDA.
Is that your next tattoo?
Definitely yes when it’s sweet PDA like holding hands or an arm around the shoulder — especially when they’re married…and when they’re old. But definitely no when it’s awkward. I was around a couple recently who was all over each other. It got to the point where no one wanted to be around them.
If I actually SEE your tongue at any point, you deserve a kick in the pants. In the front.
This picture makes me think of the only type of PDA Christians “Like”
- A SIDE HUG!
For the record,
Went to Spain… and PDA has a whole new meaning! XP
Try gettin’ shoved in the metro by people getting a little too frisky.
Personally, I love to see people being affectionate in a respectable way. I think we should be mature enough to know what’s appropriate for different situations.
Public displays of *affection*? Great. Public displays of *horniness*? Not so much. (Sorry, can’t think of a less crass word that captures that same thing.) The fact that you love your spouse (or serious BF/GF) is alright to be proud of and show the world, but when what you’re displaying is more sexual than affectionate you’re much more likely to make people uncomfortable, because they may feel as though they’re “peeping” in on something that should be intimate and private.
I second this.
I love it when my husband shows me affection in public but we’re careful not to be inappropriate.
great question … great need.
I agree that we need more affection between those who are married and draw the lines for marriage. Public display good in good taste. Save the bedroom stuff for private and with the one you are married to.
I think that when you’re in public (or at someone’s house) and are making other people wish they weren’t around you, you’ve gone too far.
Please to define this PDA?
only at the mall, on a bench out front with my wife…that pic is burned in my brain forever. Thanks.
After you posted that pic from the couple at the mall, I vote a big “fat” nay.