Hamsters, Death, and Losing Your Lessons
Yesterday Ginger died.
Ginger was My 9 year old’s hamster.
I was leading worship at Crosspoint’s Bellevue campus when I got this text…
I rushed home after the set to find my girl in the back room weeping.
“Why daddy? Why? Why did Ginger have to die?”
I could have attempted deepness in that moment.
I could have attempted to teach the 9 year old theology and scripture on death in the moment…
We all know that doesn’t work…
But instead I just held her.
Then I went outside and dug a grave behind our patio.
Then I let her see her Ginger for the last time as she petted her.
Then as she wailed and cried “Bye baby. Bye Ginger! I miss you baby girl!”, we buried Ginger.
I cried the whole time.
Not for Ginger per se, but just seeing my kid in that much pain ruined me.
From the moment I held the 9 year old…
Through the THIRTY MINUTES it took my to dig a grave with a serving spoon cause I could not find our shovel…
Through the nice words we all said about Ginger…
Through the covering her up with dirt.
I cried.
The 9 year old told me later on that day…
“Daddy. Thanks for working so hard to bury Ginger…”
And what she said next was the bottom line for me…
“And thanks for crying about her, so I didn’t have to cry alone.”
No lesson on death I would have uttered would have come close…
My nine year old gets 35 lessons a day preached at her.
Yesterday she gave me one.
Los
RAIN IT DOWN
I usually pride myself in being an empathetic person…but stuff like this always makes me nervous. when someone or something dies, I suck at being/doing/saying the right thing. I think we all do.
but what she said seals it for me. thanks for sharing it. such a great reminder of what Paul praised the Thessalonians for: their labor prompted by love…
Great stuff Los. What a memorable dad moment.
I’d like to say that I’ll be weeping as we have to put my daughter’s gerbil down this afternoon as it has a tumor, but I’m not there yet. Still if my 13 year old cries, I’ll probably be right there with you.
Now if something were to happen to my dog, I’d be in mourning for weeks.
I know I’ll probably get my man card suspended but I cried a little when I saw your tweets knowing how much your kid had to be hurting. I just freakin’ hate it when kids hurt.
God shows up threw children,people and even pets dying and we feel his presence. e also see in little children. I will be praying for your family my friend.
Your kid’s words are beautiful, powerful, and a lesson that many of us aren’t taught until it’s often too late.
When I saw your tweets, I felt SO bad knowing how much she loves animals. I teared up reading this post. She nailed it on the head.
Wow! She just taught many people a lesson! I teared up just reading it. Thank you for sharing.
Great lesson. Sometimes all we can do is be there and cry along with someone who is hurting. Good to be reminded by your daughter that sometimes that’s enough.
yeah. perfect. cry with the bereaved so they aren’t crying alone. better than trite sayings in my opinion (and i’ve been bereaved)
You handled Ginger’s death far better than I handled the passing of my son’s hamster. Here’s how I managed that experience: http://nicholasccasey.blogspot.com/2010/01/bad-day-bad-daddy.html
You handled that beautifully, you were just there for her when she needed you. That’s powerful in the life of a little girl. What an awesome example of what a man is she has in her life, all little girls should be that lucky. Most aren’t. My daughter has a Daddy like too and it’s amazing to watch them. I hope she’s not sad for too long. Rest in peace Ginger.
I agree with your daughter, its nice not to have to cry alone. I lost my mom a week ago, after her short battle with lung cancer. In the continuing sorrowful moments I find John 11:35: “Jesus wept.” so comforting. I’m amazed the he wept with Mary and Martha even though He knew more of the story than they could see. I know He is weeping with me, even though He’s joyously holding my Mom in His arms. His compassion astonishes me.
You’re a good daddy, Los. I know your daughter will appreciate this moment well into her adult life.
How sweet, and sad.
Digging graves with a serving spoon – there’s a song title for you.
I cried reading that. How precious that your 9 year old daughter understands what most people 10 times her age don’t…
*speechless*
kinda crazy how healing shared tears are, huh?
Wow.
guess that’s why the bible tells us to weep w/ those who weep. to me, one of the more amazing things about Jesus is that we get to know that he also cried. he gets me just like you get your daughter. very cool.
Death is a hard thing…but in this instance, you did the exact right thing.
When someone dies, people usually say, “I know how you feel” or “If you need anything, I’m here for you”.
But sometimes, just saying nothing, is the best thing that can be said.
Eep! Tears!
Awww.
this blog post just taught me an incredibly powerful lesson about God. I will be writing about it for days. Thank You.
Man this is one of the best posts i’ve read! This makes me think about how the church can really impact the community that it is in. As the church we should never leave the community to cry on it’s own. We should be in the midst of it all with tears running down our faces because of the hardship that has befallen Gods children.
Los,
As the father of a Nine year old girl too. I TOTALLY understand how it wrecks you. Man you showed grace and compassion to you daughter in her time of need. Her response about crying with her almost made me cry. Our daughters would probably get along great.
J
Dang
“OMG duuuuuude!” I said out loud after reading this post. I admire you, man.
oh my goodness, i cried after reading this. lol im such a baby