Why I Don’t Wear A Wedding Ring
“You should really wear a wedding ring. Especially when you are traveling.”
I had this said to me about a week ago by a random conference attendee.
I wanted to reply…
“Actually. My wife would rather me not masturbate in the hotel room tonight with a figment of my imagination flashing across 15″ of LCD than wear a wedding ring. Oh. And I also like to brag on her when people ask if I am married.”
I don’t wear a wedding ring.
Neither does my wife.
Why?
Drumroll please…
Because I have lost 4 of them now.
Wow. That was deep.
But after the 4th one Heather and I started talking about it.
Why do we wear them?
As some symbol of victory?
To tell the world “I’m taken!”
Because somebody back in 850 AD decided to start this tradition?
Out of respect?
I’ve too many relationships around me to be under the assumption that rings are somehow an indicator of “marriage”.
So.
What shall we do?
We got a tattoo of each others signatures on our wrists.
Nah. That didn’t help. I was still the sinner of a man I was before Laguna Tattoo tagged me.
But it does look dope.
Better than your ring I must add.
I have an idea…
How about working your butt off in the trenches of marriage even when it hits the fan.
Even when you want out.
Even when they want out.
I have some friends whose marriage has been throughout the ringer and back.
And there is a look.
A look that sneaks into their eye when they are talking about the other.
That look is a stronger indicator of marriage than any really bad attempt of clever ring design ever will be.
Your wedding ring is no more an indicator that you are in a healthy marriage than your fake tan is an indicator that you are not white.
Oh. What’s that? Why doesn’t Heather wear one?
Because I had it cheaply made and it’s missing a few little diamonds so it looks like a smile missing a few teeth.
We are deep.
So deep.
I’m not saying don’t wear a wedding ring.
I’m saying don’t place value in a metal object.
Instead fight well, heal well, kiss well, and live well.
So what about you?
What are your thoughts about the tradition of wedding rings and people placing significance in them?
Los
RAIN IT DOWN
Good word. I proudly wear my ring, though; it was designed well and I love it. But I know there is much, much more. Today is our 11th anniversary. I’m pretty proud of that.
congrats!!!
It’s all about RESPECT and AGREEMENT! Respecting your opinion..
It’s possible to do all this: “don’t place value in a metal object. Instead fight well, heal well, kiss well, and live well.” .. AND still wear a ring… right?
And I agree w/ ya.. the ring will not make your marriage happier or not.. if there was agreement between you two..
whatever!!
I have already decided i don’t want a traditional wedding ring, but i would love to wear the ring that has been passed down to each May baby in our family (from my grandpa). I know a couple who got crosses tattooed on their ring fingers. which i love. i would so go the tattoo route… i hope my future hubby likes tattoos.
I like the tattoo idea, but now I’ll just feel like I’m copying the Whittakers. Though, if I’m gonna somebody, it might as well be y’all!
gonna COPY*
I work in construction and do not wear a ring because of it. Not really interested in losing a finger if there was an accident. However my wife is also wearing her ring less, and there is no real reason for it. However regardless of what she/I are wearing on our finger our 17 year relationship, the last 9 happily married is still getting stronger and stronger each day
How the heck does someone lose 4 rings? I’ve had mine on for 16 years….same one. Just saying
1. Ocean sucked it off.
2. I lose my keys on a daily basis.
3. I’m a musician
OCEAN sucked it off? Hahahah I love this!
That OCEAN is a jerk. You should kick the ocean in the nuggets.
Oooo! The tenders!
Ocean took my first ring the same way. That was fun after a year of marriage.
Still got ring #2 though.
I hate my wedding ring. Not for what it symbolizes but more that it annoys me, is always in my way, makes noise. I’m always taking it off. So is my wife. But she likes that I wear one on the road, but she doesn’t care at home.
On our 10 year anniversay (only 2 years away) we are getting tattoos (I like the signing idea) to commemorate our first 10. Maybe it will be a 10 year tradition, who knows.
But while I agree about my ring, wearing a ring doesnt preclude you from loving fervently and deeply and fighting for my marriage. It can only be a cop out I’d you let it. While my ring annoys me I’m always aware I’m wearing it, which helps me be intentional, which seems to be the point, regardless of if it’s a ring or a tattoo
We’ve been married 37 years and I still get a warm feeling when I see the ring on my husband’s finger. Takes me back to our wedding.
I haven’t worn my ring for about four years, since the big diamond fell out. I really don’t care if I have another one, cause it’s just not that important to me. But, my marriage is #1 and my husband is my best friend and I’m crazy about him! I totally get what you’re sayin…
My husband’s never taken his ring off and he gets hit on when he’s on the road…the ring doesn’t seem to matter to many women. Once he starts talking about his “sweetheart” back home, they back off
Love it! My husband doesn’t wear his either. He can’t wear his where he works and now his hands are calloused and it doesn’t fit. I’m not going to pay to have it sized when he can’t wear it anyway. If you need a ring to remind to remind you that you are married.. maybe you need to re-evaluate your marrage…JS
I wear my wedding ring as a demand for respect. You will never find me without my wedding ring, or my husband without his. I am in an institution of marriage and want everyone I meet to know it. To each his own, but it works for us!
I have to take mine off for a couple of months in winter…. why? Because for some reason the skin underneath just gets NASTY and itchy. It’s awful. I will however continue to wear it the rest of the time… why? It’s a symbol of marriage? Not so much. Well maybe a little. However, my ring spins like nobody’s business. Seriously, it is one AMAZING ring. It is one of the best toys I have.
Plus the spinning of my ring helps confirm whether or not I’m dreaming. It’s a necessary tool to keep me grounded in reality.
hahahaha
haha
Isn’t a wedding ring a public symbol of marriage? To me that’s like me accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior but not going through Baptism(a public symbol of being born again) . I’m Just Saying.
But do you wear a cross on your neck as a symbol of that, or is your life a reflection of it? I would think the marriage ceremony itself was more like the baptism than the wearing of a wedding ring.
Baptism is scriptural. Wedding rings are not.
I think what Andrea’s trying to say is the rings are a symbol of something much more important just like baptism is a symbol of something much more important.
As a unmarried, undating, un-having-prospects (don’t weep I’m ok) I wear a cross ring on my ring finger. Not as a promise ring but as a reminder that one day my Prince will come. That the cross ring will be a wedding ring.
Honestly… I’ve waited so long I’m sure when then time came to have one I could not choose to not wear one.
I think that it is quite remarkable that you and Heather place value in each other and not a metal symbol, that you know struggle with or without a reminder of your commitment.
I’ve lost 6 so we have a few that I have on standby from T.J. Maxx that I keep in a box that are Identical. Yes, as a musician I have broke a few and lost a few yet my wife loves me in spite of my ring. The ring is that a symbol of my commitment to my spouse but with out the commitment in the heart the symbol is just that a symbol.
“The ring is that a symbol of my commitment to my spouse but with out the commitment in the heart the symbol is just that a symbol.”
Love that!
Well…my husband lost his ring finger BECAUSE of his wedding ring! He jumped, caught it on a soccer goal net hook and launched it into the sky!
There…bet you didn’t expect that….He doesn’t think much of rings! And after 32 years of marriage – the ring means very little.
OUCH!!
Yikes!!!!!!!!!
I can’t remember my dad wearing his wedding ring. Maybe when I was really little I think mostly because he gained weight and it doesn’t fit. I remember my mom taking hers off while she was pregnant with my brother because it was already a half size too small and she was afraid she’d get a little puffy and have to get it cut off. Now it’s pretty much permanently stuck on her finger. But she never had an engagement ring, so I have mixed feelings about that. As a single lady, I love the idea of getting to finally wear a ring on my left hand. But I think I’m too practical to justify spending so much money on a ring that’s just for engagement. I would like a nice set of wedding rings, though. I like the symbolism.
I get that rings don’t mean you have a good marriage. My cousin’s husband was a roofer, so he couldn’t wear rings on the job. He got her name tattooed on his ring finger. Then he went and got a girlfriend and cheated on her. So now they’re not married. It is nice, though, to immediately know that a guy is not available because he’s got a wedding ring.
Yet a wedding ring does not mean he is not available. I get hit on more when I wear one!!! Lol
with 100% sure I must say, That happens with everyone in every country. Here in Brazil, men and women married got hit on all the time! LOL
Just because you get hit on does not mean you’re available. To me, it absolutely means a guy is not available. Because even if he would be “available” for me, if he’s married, I don’t want him.
After our wedding ceremony, our photographer borrowed our rings to take pictures. My husband hadn’t been wearing his for more than 30 min, and he said he already felt naked without it. So basically, our rings are just part of who we are now. A symbol, yes, but a special and personal one, as well as one full of sentiment and tradition, from the moment we put them on.
I think my husband may attach even more sentimental value on them than I do though. Before we got engaged, we were planning on getting married, we never went ring shopping, and I gave him very little info to go on. I thought it would be romantic for him to pick out the ring, because I thought he would know what I like. I also didn’t want to be one of those girls who chose every little detail like it was a glorified accessory. Anyway, come the day of the proposal, the ring was… not what I hoped for (anyone see this coming?). Of course I said yes to the man, but a week later I had to tell him how I felt about the ring. I told him we could pick out a new one together, or if he wanted, I would keep this one, I just needed him to understand how I felt. He decided to stay with the original, because it’s the one he proposed with, and no other ring would be that ring. So that is the ring I’m still wearing two years later, and I even find it pretty now.
But if the rings don’t hold that kind of meaning to you, then that’s fine. You’re not going to pretend they mean something special if you only see them as bits of metal. At the same time, there’s nothing wrong with someone finding them valuable and wearing them out of that. This seems like an obvious area of Christian freedom, so we can easily disagree without either side being wrong. In this case, sin is violating one’s own conviction, not someone else’s.
I do think it’s good though to think about the meaning and decisions that go with things like this, rather than just going along with what others are doing.
As a sidenote, my wife INSISTED on my not getting her an engagement ring. Instead I was to spend the money I would on a ring on giving to World Vision. Which I did.. some family got a few goats.
I did get her a cheap silver engagement ring because well, it felt weird asking her to marry me with a picture of a goat.
THAT IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would have totally accepted a marriage proposal that came with a picture of a goat ;P
I have been wearinf wedding rings off and on since I have was married in 2003. None of them were real, just something I seen on ebay or online somewhere that I thought looked cute.
This year, my husband was able to afford to buy me a real wedding ring. I wear it everywhere now. I also bought him one.
I insist he wears it. I know he could still cheat on me if he wears the ring. He insists to me he tells everyone he is married. But, I want everyone to know that he is married, look at his finger!!!
The only time my ring has been off my finger in 17 years was for surgeries. I don’t think my husband has ever taken his off. It’s a symbol of our commitment to each other. It is important or we wouldn’t say “with this ring I thee wed” it is important or single ladies wouldn’t look at a man and say “wait, he’s wearing a wedding ring, he’s married”. We wear them for a reason. I proudly wear mine.
single ladies don’t look for rings as symbols anymore. But I’m glad you find honor in yours. I get hit on more with mine on than with it off. That is FOR sure…
And the cool thing. My the answer is the same…
I’m married to the most beautiful woman in the world.
“single ladies don’t look for rings as symbols anymore” seems like a blanket statement. Most guys I know who are single don’t wear rings on their ring finger for a reason. They don’t want to hurt their case furthur in the market place. Our social system still places a lot of value on rings. Not everyone, but a lot do.
I also play in a christian band for a living and tend to live in a bubble about 150 days per year, haha.
disagree. I have lots of single christian girl friends who do the ring check first ALWAYS. the ring speaks loudly, at least in Christian circles.
Yup. Ring check first thing.
Ummm, single lady here, and the first thing I do when I see a cute guys is a ring check. Just the other day, I ended up eating lunch at a table with my coworkers and three guys I didn’t know. Scanning the fingers revealed the “single” one, and he was the one I chatted up a bit and gave a few extra smiles. Later, trying to find out who he was, someone who knew him told me that he was, in fact, married. Married guys, not wearing your wedding ring is very frustrating for the single lady! And it leads to embarrassing situations for us, too. What ends up happening when a single lady unknowingly hits on or flirts with a married guy?? Single lady gets embarrassed, married guy gets an ego boost. After reading all the comments, everyone who is okay with the not wearing of the wedding rings is, obviously, married. They are not “looking” so have no reason to care whether other people are wearing rings or not. If you had more comments from singles like me, it would be a resounding PLEASE WEAR YOUR WEDDING RINGS. DON’T WASTE OUR TIME AND EMBARRASS US.
Thank you for posting this Lynn. I’m not married, but before I was, I ALWAYS did the ring check. It would have been so frustrating to flirt with someone not wearing a ring and later find out they are married. Of course, the ringless married guy should not let the flirting continue, but not every guy is Carlos.
I AM married. Geez, that got confusing lol
THANK you! As a single lady who takes marriage very seriously, I couldn’t agree more. H-A-T-E it when married guys don’t wear their ring. Not because it’s about a metal object but because of exactly what Lynn said. Without a ring I don’t know you’re off limits, unless the fact of your marriage *happens* to come up right as we are meeting or I ask, which is not something a girl always wants to do right off. Plus it makes me suspect that you don’t care about your marriage THAT much and frankly adds to a “yeah, they’re all the same” feeling I fight off.
I’m on my 2nd one. Wedding ring, not wife.
My husband is former ring-loser and now a non-ring-wearer, too. He lost a couple at work in the innards of diesel engines and finally stopped wearing them to work altogether. He has another cheapie now that he wears occasionally. I don’t wear my original set either–it had some diamond-falling-out issues, so it’s tucked safely away in my jewelry box.
For us, it’s not about the rings. I do cherish my original rings–they hold a lot of significance for me. But, I don’t feel any “less married” because I wear a fake set from QVC, and I don’t worry about my husband’s fidelity because he doesn’t wear one at all.
I love my cheapo QVC rings too!
Colin and I have rings, but his is the promise ring I bought him when we were dating, and mine is missing a small diamond. I think it kinda symbolizes our marriage… we are flawed, and still love each other. Then again I don’t get anyone hitting on me or asking if I’m married. I’d like to think that if I didn’t have it on, someone would think I was a high school kid since I coach/run with them.
My brother in law has lost several rings too… they decided to tattoo each others initials on their ring finger. Kinda cool.
I think each marriage is defined by the 2 people who made the decision to marry. Obviously, to some, the ring is a necessity but I think it is great that you two are fine without it. I don’t think anyone should question you not wearing it, especially someone who is not part of your everyday life. I don’t know you personally but from what I can see, you love your wife and kids and are very devoted. A ring doesn’t change that. There are many men who wear rings and are unfaithful and many women who love to go after men WITH rings. A ring will not define you or your marriage, only you can do that. Nothing wrong with wearing a ring but also nothing wrong with no wearing one, especially if the 2 spouses agree on it. Also, I love the tattoo idea, pretty cool.
Jaime doesn’t wear a wedding ring either and has also lost 4 but found one of them a couple years back. Now he keeps it on his key ring. I have to admit that it does bug me but I know that he just put it somewhere that he wouldn’t lose it again and that’s enough for me. Everyones marriage is different & we are all different so the way we celebrate our marraiges should be different also.
Interesting thoughts….from my 1st marriage I had ring fancy male ring that never quite fit right….maybe a precursor of what was to come. Now in my 2nd (and final) marriage we found a ring that is so simple and most comfortable that i never take it off….also, whenever I need a reminder of my wife’s love, I can readr the inside inscription : I love your more today….
I don’t wear mine because I gained a little weight – making my fingers a little chubbier. The ring started to irritate my finger, getting a rash and eventually bleeding.
I’ve had it off for over a year, and I love my wife more now than I did when I took the ring off.
I do not wear mine…
because when times got tough & the economy kicked our butt, it was sold for us to make rent.
absolutely understandable
and in the end, stuff did not define our marriage. The power of the symbol lies in the love we give to one another.
Love this post … not the ring question in particular, but the fact that you are asking questions about why you do what you do.
Too often we blindly go through life doing whatever we do without question. Why should we be tied to an idea someone in some ancient century decided was good?
As for weddings rings … my hubs and I grew up and were married in a traditional conservative Mennonite family/church where no jewelry is allowed, not even wedding rings. After we were married, we left that world and later got wedding rings. I like mine and wear it most of the time, but it doesn’t make or break a marriage … hard work or lack of it does.
Funny, you’re the second person this week to blog about not wearing wedding rings. I’d link you to the other one because it was good, but I’d get marked spam. Stupid internets.
We both wear ours although I don’t have any strong preference either way. But I’ll just state this one observation. I have had my ring serviced a lot in the past 2 years and I without a doubt notice that I get more attention from men without it. I think people overwhelmingly still look for it to tell if they “can” look at woman. Now, I know there are all sorts of issues with this but I’m just sayin’. I prefer to wear a ring so I don’t invite unwanted attention.
you should post a still pic of your wrists :0)
First, I think your reasons for not wearing a ring are as good as any. You’ve given it a go 4 times and 4 times you’ve lost it. So, why bother.
Second, I love and strongly believe in the idea of living out one’s marriage in such a way that your actions speak lounder than anything else.
With all that said, I’d like to offer this argument for the wearing of the wedding ring.
The wedding ring is hands down one of THE most powerful symbols in society today. I would argue even more so than the wearing of a cross. It’s chic to wear a cross nowadays. Lots of people wear crosses. Madonna wears one (or used to anyway). Puff Daddy wears one. I know some pretty hard core killers who wear crosses. When I see a person wearing a cross I do NOT think (oh, they must be a believer). There is rarely a connection between wearing a cross and believing in what it is supposed to symbolize.
However, when I see a person wearing a wedding ring, something about how I see that person changes. For better or worse, it DOES have an affect on people. Wearing one (or not wearing one) will communicate a message to observers. The message isn’t just “I’m taken.” It goes beyond that. In essence, the wearing of the wedding ring is positive marketing for marriage.
The wedding ring also establishes clear boundaries for people right off that bat. In today’s day and age, that is an important thing. An attractive man or woman in a work environment who is married but does NOT wear a ring, opens the door to temptation. Flirtation that may not have otherwise started might occur. That is just a practicality. It’s kind of like insect repellant. It obviously doesn’t keep all of temptation at bay, but I would bet a good deal of it is warded off by the viewing of that ring.
Those of us who are married should absolutely strive to live godly marriages, and be godly role models of marriage. That should speak louder than any ring. But, just like the power of a good logo, if the institute of marriage, and the commitment a man has for his wife, or a woman for her husband, can be instantly communicated by the viewing of a ring (and in truth, communicating to the world that you ARE taken is not necessarily a bad thing), then I say err on the side of wearing the symbol.
Well said, Ron. +1
Few months back dear wife dropped off her wedding and engagement rings at jeweler to get soddered, then texted me “I’m nine months preggers cruisin’ the town with two small children and no wedding ring. Yeah, I’m THAT mom.”
That made, and still makes, me laugh.
Hey if you don’t wanna wear a ring, no prob. If it’s not a problem for you, who cares if it’s a prob for someone else? Personally I’m not a big fan of the ring. It’s heavy, too big, generally just annoying. It comes off the second I step in the door. Oddly, I feel naked if I leave the house without it though.
I don’t diss anyone who doesn’t wear a wedding ring. But, I do think it is an outward symbol of marriage, however dated this tradition may be. Let’s face the facts, single men and women look for wedding rings on other people’s hands. No wedding ring states he/she is not married. Wedding ring states “I am taken/married”. Even though I hate wearing rings, I proudly wear my wedding ring out of respect for my wife and to declare, “I am married”. Ironically, I am on my fourth wedding ring in 16 years. I lose them too. I’ve resorted to cheap Walmart specials for $40.
When we got married, I really wanted one of those cool ones that costs like $300. We quickly figured out that it would be a terrible idea, because I lose EVERYTHING. I opted for the $30 ring from Walmart instead, and after 2 years, I haven’t lost it.
I mostly like it because it sends a message before any words are ever spoken between me and another person if my wife isn’t with me. And since we’re so young, a lot of people think we’re brother and sister instead, so the rings sort of help in that sense. =)
I have so much to say on this subject…but to start, we have to go back to the beginning. My husband proposed to me in college and he couldn’t afford a big diamond. He knew how much Irish Claddah rings meant to me (I wore a silver one on my left hand), so he made me an engagement ring out of one with a tiny little diamond in the middle of the heart. The meaning of a claddah ring is “I give you my heart and I crown it with my everlasting love” and it has hands that grasp a heart with a crown on top. It’s BEAUTIFUL! It was the sweetest ring EVER and it reminded us of who were were when we got engaged! We decided that we would bring our two cultures together by having an Irish engagement ring and Polish Wedding bands (my Great Grandmother was from County Cork and my husband moved from Poland when he was 3 years old). We were thrilled that we were going to wear the actual wedding bands of both of Pete’s grandparents. Flash foward to the wedding and a few days before…I had LOST the polish wedding bands. I was FREAKING OUT and didn’t want to tell Pete’s parents. When they found out…Pete’s mom told me “Ashley, you know those rings don’t prove your love for each other. They’re just metal”. I will never forget those words. So we get married and we have a laugh over the wild goose chase trying to find the rings and a few days later….they appear. What the? Several years later, we are on a boat watching the sun set on the Lake. It is our most FAVORITE spot on earth. I jump in for a swim and right before jumping in…my IRISH CLADDAH RING flies in the air and into the lake. I started crying and couldn’t stop. Of all things to lose, this one meant the most to me. But then Pete says to me “Ashley…we know where your ring is and we know we will always come out to our special spot..we can come visit your ring anytime, but you know it doesnt mean we don’t love each other”! And we have never replaced that ring. I am not a real diamond/jewelry person and there are so many other things I would want for a special occasion, so this doesn’t bother me. As a joke, for one of our Anniversaries where the theme was “Tin”, Pete made me the most beautiful ring out of tin foil. I burst into tears because that ring meant more to me than any new diamond. We have been through hell and back during our marriage. There have been moments when I wasn’t sure we would make it…but we are here and after 20 years (this October), we are stronger than ever. Recently, Pete’s father went in the hospital for three months and I saw a new layer to this wonderful man that I never saw before. I love him more than ever. Currently, on my left hand…I have both the Polish Wedding bands (Pete’s stopped fitting him and he doesn’t wear one anymore) and my grandmother’s peridot/ruby ring – a reminder of how much family means to us.
One other thing I thought of last night Los is that you’re a musician. That alone makes you a woman magnet.
On top of that, I feel comfortable enough in my manhood to say you’re a good looking dude. I would find it hard to believe that in your travels you don’t come across women who turn on the charm.
I would not presume that everyone woman you meet while on the road reads your blog and knows you’re married. Having a ring, even a cheap one, sends a message, “Don’t even bother coming on.”
Just a thought.
Ron. Would it surprise you to know that I get more attention from women when it is on than when it is off?
It surprises me! Who are these “Christian” ladies you are socializing with in churches who hit on married men???
I actually know men who are SINGLE but keep a ring in their pocket to WEAR when they are out and want to get hit on! It’s unbelievable to me, but I know guys (including my husband) who say since wearing a ring, women colleagues and strangers are more apt to flirt on them!
If there is a temptation to flirt or to get attention from any other women, then I’d feel more inclined to see how they react if my ring is off.
If it’s off, I have a curiosity of what that girl might be thinking.
If it’s on, then it guards me more from my own sinful heart.
Leaving it on reminds me, and shows them that I’m in no position to flirt.
I think it gives some stability/a reminder that brings my sinful heart back down.
I turn a deaf ear to pastors that are married and don’t wear a wedding ring. My husband works around machines so he doesn’t wear his to work. Just as I don’t wear my diamond to work because of putting on gloves and off 100 times a day. BUT we still wear our original wedding bands – 38 years. I am dumbfound on how anyone can lose their wedding bands 4 times!!!!! Also I think the musician excuse that is used as I am the way I am because “I’m a musician” is a bunch of BULL!!!
harsh much?
de, you don’t hang out with musicians often, do you?
yes I do, family and close friends and mentors. I still don’t like it as an excuse from them either. Maybe it is because I am older then most on here. AGAIN I LIKE THE WHITTER’s blogs. Just my thought. I am so sorry if I offend anyone.
Wow. Angry much? You don’t really know him, or anyone else really, to make such a harsh assessment of who he is and whether his decision is valid or not… and really, it is a decision that only God, Los, and his wife have to decide upon.
I would like to think we could all open our minds enough to know and believe that different opinions and decisions on these very things is OK, and that none of us are in any place to judge him. Particularly to accuse him, in multiple ways, of being full of bologna, and over a ring.
Let’s hug it out and let it go, why don’t we?
seriously?? if you are a school teacher and the child loses their homework 4 times you would have to stop and wonder. HEY I love this blog and his direction. My PERSONAL reaction on a pastor wearing a wedding ring is my thought and what I thought he was asking for. The “bull or bologna” excuse I still believe, it is an excuse instead of taking ownership of their actions. NOT THAT I DON”T LIKE HIM and I did not mean to offend anyone.
i have the hybrid thing going on.. i had mine tattooed on
my wife wears her ring and i love it.
i had to quit wearing my gold ring for two reasons – i work around electricity (safety hazard) and i lost about 100lb so it’s way too big.
i’d always wanted it tattooed on so i just went and did it a few months ago. love it.
Speaking as a single woman, I want married men to wear their rings because I need to know who’s taken. Of course, I also wish gay men would designate themselves somehow so I’d know whom not to waste time on, but that’s another issue. Married men: please wear your ring!
I have been engaged for one week exactly!! First of all, most of you guys are making me nervous because now I think my boo is going to lose her ring. Second, I have always been a guy that said he would wear his wedding ring no matter what. It drives me crazy when married couples don’t wear their rings! (Sorry Los)
And plus, what better way to brag about the love of your life when people notice it?!
Nah. I get to talk about my wife so much more with my tattoo than a ring.
If I don’t wear a wedding ring, I’m literally mauled by ladies at the Starbucks.
Buenos dias cousin, Always remember that the ring represents three strands that’s not easily broken which include you, your wife and Christ and its not just a symbol but a testimony and a witness to the world of your relationship with Christ and His church. I know there are a lot of couples out there who have rings who do not live accordingly to the institution and some of us were unsuccessful in this ministry but its important you and your wife go before God, including fasting and praying to make sure that He is ok with this decision since its the 3 of you that jointly that binds this all together and since I was a witness to your wedding when your and your spouse made a covenant before mankind and before God that the rings were going to be a symbol, God needs to continue to be the center of everything that you do not only in being your savior but also He’s your Lord in all things including your job, your marriage, your family, your life and your marriage to your wife needs to be a living testimony more than ever if no ring is outwardly shown so that others are not led to believe that your single. God Bless.
Good word cuz…
I hope our tattoos are that for us.
And one day I may wear it again!
We wear our rings, and we take a practical approach. We don’t wear them at the beach (I lost mine there when I took it off to apply sunscreen, and hubby had to use a metal detector to find it) or swimming or washing dishes or any activity where they are just unpractical. It doesn’t bother me whether other people wear wedding rings or not. I know fire(wo)men who tatoo rings on their finger because they can’t wear jewelry when firefighting.
I was at a pool party, and I got my ring sucked off…this was the city pool (a big one) and it was a private party…so for 30 min. I tried to locate it…so after that I just gave up…but then all of the sudden…a girl from our church found it and gave it back. So I had a happy ending!
I like the rings my hubby and I wear. And I think it’s fine that you don’t wear one.
I think it’s great that you both got tattoos with each other’s names. But I don’t have plans to get a tattoo.
Whatev. To each his own.
(P.S. Are you ignoring my emails? Just askin’.)
I didn’t wear mine for a long time when a diamond fell out, and got used to not wearing it. I see what you mean that it’s the marriage that matters, not so much the ring…although it can lead singles to think you might be available! When I noticed people quickly glancing at my left hand, I’d have to subtly mention my husband in certain situations.
I don’t wear a ring because when I got married I was chubby and now I’m not o chubby and any time I try to wear my band it falls off.
That being said, about a year ago my wife and I tattooed each others’ names on our ring fingers.
People tell me it’s awesome. People always ask her what she’s gonna do if we don’t work out and she’s stuck with my name on her finger. She’s amazed at the amount of people that automatically assume the worst about marriage these days.
We don’t wear them to let others know we’re married even though it happens that way.
We don’t have tattoos to show that we belong to each other, even though we do.
I’m not for or against the rings (nor do I feel you are either). But I don’t think it’s a big deal if someone is married and they don’t wear them. Good post!
I wear a marriage ring cuz I want to. It is actually an engagement ring, but it is all we can afford. We got married at the JP anyways. My husband does not wear one, mostly because of work. Either way, I trust him. And either way, a woman can flirt with him, ring or not. It does not an any way make me think he is off trying to act like he is not married. A ring is a ring, paper is paper, as long there are 3 of us in the marriage (God, him and me) that is all that matters.
it’s pretty obvious that the ring is only a symbol, not a binding seal. i love wearing mine and seeing my husband wear his, but i wouldn’t be heartbroken if he chose not to (surprised, maybe). we actually have a joke when he takes it off (when he’s working on cars), he yells, “i’m freeeeee! i can date again!” haha
i certainly don’t think it’s something to get upset about or offended by. it’s a symbol. wear it if you want, don’t if you don’t.
I so agree with everything in this post – marriage is frickin hard and if you aren’t willing to endure the trenches, don’t wear the rings.
However, me and all my issues like my ring thankyouverymuch because it makes me feel safe from creeps.
And my happy land of illusion works for me. #dontjudge
I like the idea, Los.
I, personally, always thought the “tat” ring, or whatever, was tacky. Maybe it’s just preferences….well, obviously it is.
Anyway, I had to say, No, as cool as the tattoos are on you and your wifey, they are not cooler than my ring
Wood rings, brother.
I don’t want the whole world to go out and get them now, but, they are way awesome and way better than any conflict diamond on someone’s finger.
In all seriousness, we wear the ring as a symbol of something greater than ourselves.
Christianity is all about the symbols, too: Baptism, the Eucharist, Wedding ceremonies, the Cross (in ancient times, the ichthus, or noah’s ark), ashes for lent, etc…etc…and, wedding bands.
The math of the ring, the infinity of the circle, the continuity, the everlasting, the wholeness.
Don’t get caught up in the triteness of metals, diamonds, social convention, or empty tradition. Don’t let those things ruin a good thing — in reality, an amazing thing.
Symbols are important to humans. They are especially important to Christians. They are our roots and an illustration of what we fail to express with sentiments and our inherent limits, as well as glimpse of things to come.
It’s beautiful, man.
cb
P.S. The tats are cool, too. The Lord bless you and yours.
Los…I can always be humored by your post! I understand your rational. I haven’t lost my ring in 18 years so I wear it daily. Indeed the ring doesnt make the marriage but commitment does! For the record…you are one crazy disciple!
Just watched the movie with Adam Sandler this week, “Just go with it” the entire movie is about how he wears a wedding ring to pick up chicks… then actually ends up liking one of them, and then fakes a wife, and kids thinking it helps his game.
point and case
(in regards to more attention from the ladies with the ring on)
I don’t think “Happy Gilmore” with Adam Sandler is an accurate depiction of how the PGA works, nor do I think “Click” is an accurate depiction of what a Bed Bath and Beyond stock room may offer a person with a universal remote; Alas, “Just go with it” should not be considered an accurate depiction of how reality works.
It probably isn’t the best idea to take a page from the Adam Sandler movie playbook. Just sayin’…
cb
I go with the “I’m taken!” rationale. If I don’t wear it I have to beat the ladies off with a stick. This lets them know its hands off.
My husband and I are not huge on traditions. I think we put too much value on jewelry {engagement rings, purity rings, etc.} as if the look, size, or mere presence of it defines the relationship. So I’m with you there; it’s not necessary. BUT my ring was made with family diamonds from my dad and my husband’s grandmother, so for us, my wedding ring is not just a symbol of our marriage, but a physical joining of generations, of ethnicities & culture, of our histories. I LOVE that, and I hope to pass it on for generations to come.
“Would it surprise you to know that I get more attention from women when it is on than when it is off?”
Nope…unfortunately.
This thread, for some reason, incited a lot of emotion for me; but I greatly appreciate your insight. It probably has something to do with my recent divorce to a man who used his wedding ring as a tool to lure [the innumerable amount of women in our culture who find the challenge of seducing married men too enticing to resist] into destructive relationships. A wedding ring does not keep us from making the wrong choices anymore than not having one does. Truly respecting and honoring the commitment you made to God and your spouse is the only way to guard your heart from going down that path.
If wearing a wedding ring helps you to do that, that’s great, but the status of our marital relationship does not lay in whether or not there is a piece of metal on our finger. If it kept us from being able to break the covenant that would be great, but [praise God] we have the freedom to make choices, so it doesn’t work that way. My husband divorced me long before he ever took his ring off…so forgive me if I’m a little jaded about this.
Thanks for challenging my traditional way of thinking
My sweet love doesn’t wear his ring at work for fear of losing a finger in an engine. Our first Christmas together I got him a chain for his ring, which has since been dubbed “the Frodo chain.” He rarely takes it off his chain to put on his finger. When I asked him why that was he said that its better for him to have it next to his heart so he remembers to pray for me every time it thumps him in the chest.
I wear my grandmother’s band 24/7, not as an outward symbol to others, but as a reminder to my own heart that there is a man who will forever protect my heart, guard my life, and lead me on.
I lost my ring
People should wear there rings at all time
The hubby & I will celebrate 22 years of marriage in December AND we don’t wear wedding rings either. Funny thing, we lost our 1st set b/c we pawned them to pay bills & never recovered them. I think the 2nd set, same story. 3rd set, hubby developed an allergy to white gold & I lost my ring. It’s been about 10 years since we’ve worn rings & actually feel strange wearing a ring! Conclusion, we don’t need a ring to show our commitment & faitfulness to one another.
I don’t wear a wedding ring because when I was pregnant with my son, it got tight and still doesn’t fit. It’s also a ring from my Great-Grandmother and can’t be altered to be any bigger as it would be too thin. We are looking in to selling the gold and getting it reset but I don’t want to spend the money…anyway…we are looking forward to getting tattoos soon…I’m proposing them for our 5th wedding anniversary next year!
I am engaged, and frequently do look for the ring when meeting someone new. Many of you referenced getting more attention with the ring on. Well, I do give more “attention,” but it as just friends, and being more comfortable talking to a man who is married than one who is not and may get the wrong impression of me (e.g. why is this girl with an engagement ring talking to me?). It makes me feel that we have some common ground (both of us in relationships where we truly respect and care for our mates). I do not feel as comfortable chatting it up with an unmarried man or someone who I think is unmarried (because I don’t see the ring) because I am afraid they will think I am flirting with them. So this is just a different perspective as to why you might get more attention with the ring on. Maybe it is just genuine friendliness and caring, and not at all flirting, as that could be easily mistaken for.