The Social Media Lie
I always take pictures of myself from at least 6″ above my head or with my head slightly tilted down so that you don’t see my double chin.
I make my kids reenact something they just did so it looks better on instagram.
Like 4 times if necessary.
I make sure that when I tweet I leave 13 characters so that you can retweet it without any effort.
I @reply famous people so that they reply to me back.
I don’t tell you when my kids tell me to put down my phone.
I want to take down a blog post if it only has a few comments after a few hours.
I ignore conversations I am in, in order to tell you about the conversations I am in.
I tell you of the crap in my life and label it authenticity so that I feel better about having crap in my life.
I carry my iPhone around with me like it is surgically implanted in my palm.
I wait until the pastor says the most amazing thing and then tweet and Facebook it so it looks like I am paying attention to the whole sermon.
I’ll tweet during my date with my wife to tell you I’m on a date with my wife instead of being on a date with my wife.
It’s a slippery slope we are walking on.
There are some AMAZING things about social media and how we share our lives.
But we have to fight the things that will ultimately destroy our reality.
What you get from me and what I get from you is what we choose to show each other.
Let’s never forget that the truth behind who each of us is, is FAR from the truth buried inside of our LCD screens.
Let’s share our lives, but not lose our souls.
It’s better that way.
Los
RAIN IT DOWN
I love you man.
No. No. You hang up first.
Wait!! You really do that during my messages?? You don’t really hang on to every single word I say?
Ha! As always, I love your honesty bro.
No no no!!!
I’m salivating during every word!
This is awesome! Thanks for the reminder.
It’s all good. And all bad.
I hope this works. my first post EVER. I am 52 and a grandma and saw your God of second chances and it really has changed my life. I went from not caring about life anymore considering mine over and got back into reading the Bible daily and now feel like walking on water. Praise God for your family, ( I watch all your video things). Sorry I don’t know any lingo, but groovy or far-out man. lol. Seriously, you make being human real, and God attainable. Amazing. I have sent your vid. of you and daniel out to everyone I know on facebook and have gotten some amazing responses. Mostly gratitude, tears, and renewing of faith. thank you so much. God Bless you at least half as much as he has blessed me and all my fam. and friends because you allow him to use you so amazingly. btw, you should be amazingly blessed. every one is singing your song on the net now. and just love losia singing single ladies devastiation. You are such an awesome father, and btw you have a beautiful and awsome wife as well. God Bless You. and thank you from at least 100 peeps who have now heard you and have changed lives. thank you so much again.
Well said Los.
Thanks man.
This post is fucking awesome. We get so busy trying to be our own brand of celebrity that we lose out on life in front of us.
#church
Amen.
I liked the post too, but didja have to put it that way?
right on, h (:
ps. ms yankee, did the language bother you so very much that you had to, had to, had to comment on h’s post with a half-compliment?
I was actually surprised Los let it through. I thought he had higher moderation standards. (With all due respect Los.) Not that I’m a huge fan of freakin’, frickin’, etc. either.
Sounds like another blog… for another day… for another debate…
That being said, I love sinners… I’d better, I’m a big one.
I hate sin.
I hate “fuck”.
The last thing I want to do is to continue to ride on this world’s bandwagon of demeaning the most beautiful connection God has given humans.
Let’s let our speech be excellent.
“I’d rather be honest and vocal than silent and a liar.”
Does that make me fake because I fight to keep my mouth from going there?
Heated challenges call for humble consideration.
Here is to continuing to sharpen one another!
austin
A couple of thoughts…
Ephesians 4:29 (ESV)
29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
#1. does saying “F**KING” build up, and give grace to those who hear? 99% of the time it does not. I understand it was meant as a complement to Los…and I’m sure he took it as such. But our culture looks at this word with somewhat of a disdain. It’s bleeped out if someone says it on TV…FCC fines folks for using it. So it’s not really building folks up.
#2. I understand that there are times when saying a curse word just fits the bill when nothing else is going to work…but in a blog setting a bulk of the time it’s not necessary. You can be vocal and not spu dirty language…(and it does not make you a liar if you don’t cuss). I’m very vocal, and I’m very assertive, and I don’t have to use fowl language.
Matthew 12:36
English Standard Version (ESV)
36I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,
Now, this DOES not only mean cussing…so let me get that out of the way right now…”careless” is the word that is used. All this simply means is watch what you say.
I’m not upset that the word was used…but if it causes my brother/sister to stumble I’m sinning. Period.
1 Corinthians 8:10-12
English Standard Version (ESV)
10For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating[a] in an idol’s temple, will he not be encouraged,[b] if his conscience is weak, to eat food offered to idols? 11And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died. 12Thus, sinning against your brothers[c] and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ.
***I understand it is talking about meat/eating…but this can apply in all areas of Christian life.
If my liberties cause another person in Christ to stumble I’m sinning against Christ. Not good. Just a thought to chew on.
**That should have been “Foul” not FOWL. wow!
This.
“The last thing I want to do is to continue to ride on this world’s bandwagon of demeaning the most beautiful connection God has given humans.”
THIS.
Anyone ever heard of the ” GOD of second chances”? Jesus says forgive your (brother) 70 X 7 a day. If we get so busy judging each other to death, we will stop communicating and that is bad. I am 52 and I know peeps that use that as part of thier language, not something bad, but where they grew up. Lets lift each other up, not pull down. I want Jesus to forgive me when I screw up, Hope this isn’t a bad word to anyone, so I forgive others like He says to do. Enough on the 1 word already. Praise God and thank Him that we can even do this. Amazing. Love out
I hope it doesn’t seem like anyone is judging anyone…
We are always called to forgive one another – but should we continue sinning so grace may abound?
The freedom of Christ rebukes us. I am thankful for that too, because freedom without rebuke is not freedom at all. (At least not for this messed up man).
Correction and conviction is not the same as judgment and guilt.
Cleaning up your language is just one of many ways we show the world that we’re set apart from the rest of them. We don’t want to blend in with the crowd. If our words do not reflect Christ, people won’t even notice he’s there.
You guys just spent X amount of comments missing the point of this post.
Also I think it is more rude to hijack a comment thread to Bible Thump another commenter with your convictions than it is for someone to say a curse word in a comment.
I feel slightly obligated to leave a comment now.
hahahahahaha
love the heart check.
It’s tough…
The last line is my new motto
So easy to do. I have had to cut out Facebook for a season because of that. Present living so so important but seems like the hardest thing to do. Thanks for your honesty.
yup
Amen! My friends and I have been talking about this recently. A few of us have been “sabbathing” from social media once a week (I pick Saturdays) in order to actually ENGAGE in the relationships and heartbeat of life around us. We’ve also committed to being more intentional when WITH people. It’s been incredible…
Love your honesty, man! It’s refreshing – as always.
I’m challenged by this. I think a social sabbath is definitely in order and Saturday looks like the right day for it! BELIEVE THAT!
hey yes!
Social Sabbath! I like!
thank you sir.
Oh snap. Thanks.
Sometimes when I’m out to eat with Sophia or just out on a general excursion, I’ll look around and see other families totally disengaged because they are on their smart phones. It bugs the crap out of me. Then I look down and I realize that it bugs the crap out of me because I’m doing the very same thing. While Social Media is and will be a part of our children’s future, I want my child to know that one on one human contact trumps the blue screen all the time. She’s 6 now. In 10 years, how much will I have to fight with her to put the phone down. Time to squash that one NOW.
Sometimes I’m really glad I don’t have a smartphone. Sure, the pretty apps would be fun, but I’m much more likely to unplug when I’m out and about with my friends. Then I just go home and sit on my computer for hours. Probably not the best, either, but since I live alone I justify it as how I stay connected.
It’s why I think it is important to attempt to cultivate real friendships that start with social media. It can happen. It has happened.
It’s cool to see the man (or woman) behind the curtain. It can also provide a degree of accountability which is something I think many of us need with regard to social media.
So…is this “authenticity” or do you really think it is “deep stuff?” Maybe it would be better labeled “Stuff to make you see that I’m just like you.”
I am in this very cynical phase right now, where everything seems fake, even the stuff that screams, “I’m real, I’m real!” I think that social media is largely to blame.
I personally know some of the “celebrities” of the church that I follow(ed) on Twitter and Facebook, and it disheartens me that so many of them live online one way and treat people in reality a very different way. Most days I just want to walk away from all of this “connection” altogether…but then I’d miss what my favorites have to say, even as it makes me laugh and say, “Yeah, right…”
At the end of the day, I am grateful for grace and in love with my Lord and that is truly all that matters.
Also…”H” is my new hero. That is all.
(No love for @Loswhit was harmed in this comment. I still think you’re the bee’s knees, even if only for that “Mean” b’day video you posted!)
I feel the need to comment on this quickly so that you don’t remove this post… it’s too good and too honest to remove.
Thank you for your honesty…. and gut check.
Love the honesty. It kind of begs the question, what are some solid biblical and social standards that we should use to guide our interactions on social media and how social media plays into our reality?
First, ya gotta love H’s comment above. Very classy.
Second, after these realizations, gut checks or whatever you wanna call them, what changes tomorrow?
Cuz if nothing changes, what’s the point?
Your heart is probably in the right place, but I read so many posts on how ‘this is where I go wrong’ and ‘this is where I’m fake’ and ‘this is how I want my life to look’ and I get all excited to see the beginning of a new journey, with these realizations in mind. Then, tomorrow, absolutely nothing has changed.
I say this because about a year ago, I had this post written, but only in my head….I never posted it….I just stopped blogging and tweeting….because I am not AT ALL who I wanted everyone to think I was.
Long story….long comment. At the very least, thanks for reminding me who I am. Not a pretty reminder, but one that is necessary.
Truth!
Can you repeat that please? I was too busy “like”ing this post to hear what you were saying…..
Seriously, you make it look easy to be authentic, and for whatever reason you do it, your transparency has been an encouragement to me. Keep it up!
I love the transparency. Thank you fircsharung your burdens so that we can bare then with you.
Makes me think of a quote I heard recently
“Strive to be more interested instead of always trying to be more interesting.”
ooooo, good one molly
Good word. We want to live authentic lives, but we are so pre occupied trying to make our lives look fun, important, interesting and better than others – so authenticity really becomes a joke. Thanks – this was a good heart check.
Sometimes I want to throw my phone in a lake, but then I can’t tweet about that I just threw my phone in a lake.
Wow. That just might be my new favorite quote.
I’m doomed.
such a balance… and I so fall off the teeter totter onto the i-have-overdone-social-media-again-and-am-driving-my-husband-bananas side all of the time. He does not get the whole tweeterific, facebook, blogging, photoblogging… etc thing.
he thinks I have Klout just as I am.
i don’t always get that
http://www.calebgordon.com/?p=2339
“The Numbing Effect of The Social Network”
Heard someone say this a few months ago, and it’s stuck with me since:
I’d rather live life than document it.
Good stuff Los
Oh I thought 20 characters was the magic number for RTs? Haha.
Really great stuff! My kids are old enough to remind me, ‘mom, your meals taste better when you don’t worry about taking a pic of them and social media-fying them.’ #kidswiserthanus
The crazy thing is that all are able to make web sites, and alot of them are really cool looking. And the thing is that whether we say it or not, we think because our site is cool we think we have a corner on the market.
We look at what Los does, and think…man i can do this…so we do something to make our kid cry, and turn on the video camera, and the only person that watches is my mom, and she just ends up getting pissed at me.
In terms of social media i suck!
Thank God that His grace overlooks me being stupid, and when I try and make myself something I’m really not.
You mean my iPhone isn’t an appendage? I might have to put it down more often!
Challenging post man. There definitely is a down-side to social media.
True true.
truth…
I wonder if Hemingway would tweet. I wonder if the Dos Equis guy would tweet. #Itweetregardless
I had a really long comment prepared about how I realized that my personal life was more important than my virtual life, then I remembered that it was…
EXACTLY. Social Media is not life. When Gavin says “No PHONE, all done” in his 2 year old voice, I see very clearly where my priorities have been.
This is a fantastic post! I can’t count the number of times that I’m out with friends and look around to see everyone on their cell phones. I ask guys, we’re all here. What are you doing? And it’s always the same, facebook, twitter, texting, etc. I’m afraid we’re becoming a society that doesn’t know how to have actual face-to-face interaction anymore, and that scares me.
I listened to a podcast about Einstein last night. In one part it was talking about how people want to make Einstein into a sort of saint, but he always found this so strange and humorous. He would be the first to willingly admit he was horribly disconnected in some of the most important relationships in his life. And yet, he pushed so hard and believed so deeply in social equality and unity. The person being interviewed in the podcast mentioned that paradoxically it was Einstein’s admittance of his own failures that made people love him all the more. He wasn’t just Einstein. He was human too. So keep writing posts like these; it’s what keeps us coming back. He isn’t just Carlos. He’s human too.
Wow was battling with this myself today!! You took the words out of my mouth!! TRUTH!!
Gut check. Awesome post, Los.
Ha, You won’t be erasing this post then!
I can relate to a lot of this and am struggling with the addiction of social media at times – blogging, tweeting, instagramming, facebooking, etc. Though they can serve wonderful purposes, it’s so easy to get sucked in and we forget to live connected, authentic, and present lives. Thanks for your honesty.
Well said. I was in a drive thru one night and saw a family sitting inside and all of them were doing something on phones and not talking to each other. It was a wake up for me. I refuse to look at my phone during meals now.
Los,
Have you ever heard of an MIT professor named Sherry Turkle? she wrote a book called: “Alone Together: Why We Expect More From Technology and Less From Each.” I caught a TED talk of hers….Amazing insight on these issues.
she’s @sturkle
Nailed me.
Bro,
I have been waiting for a post like this. Glad it came from you. So easy to get caught up in updating because you know people are reading, instead of living. Good word
WWJT
What Would Jesus Tweet??
I don’t think Jesus would tweet. Period.
I definitely do (almost) everything you listed, except for a few things that I either don’t have the capacity to do (I don’t have children, for example) or I am not brilliant enough to think of (like making sure I leave enough room for people to retweet me).
This is awesome and wonderful and, oh so true. Lord help me.
Amen and well timed! That’s all I got.
Carlos… I put you on “one of my favorite people in the world” list years ago when you joined weight watchers & jiggled your jelly belly on camera for people of the earth to see. I thought to myself — ‘honest. I dig this guy.’
This post — reason #342 you are still on “one of my favorite people in the world” list.
Great post Los. So the question is, will you actually make a change, or are you just blogging it to show how awesome and humble a person you are? Serious question, because the latter is probably what I’d do
I guess you will never know.
But it’s not for you to know.
Right?
hmmm food for thought
I must go and update my out of date twitter – I have now seen where I am going wrong 
Where is Barack Obama on twitter so I can @him
Great post. Had a gut check like that a while back, and began working on scaling way back. Keep up the honest posts no matter the comment count.