The Mess That is Me
Hey, Hey, Hey…it’s Ladie’s Night at Ragamuffinsoul and our emcee is my one and only assistant, Noelle Larson.
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One of my favorite episodes of Friends (Yes, I’m a woman in my 30′s…I know, I know…so cliche’…) was the one where they discover “perfect” Monica’s secret messy closet.
I mean that episode has proven to be 30 minutes of free therapy for what I’ve come to realize was one of my greatest sicknesses…
You see, the better half of my life has been spent living like Monica.
Organized on the outside.
Put together.
Good from far, but far from good.
I have tried, I mean SINCERELY tried to become like some of you who have every drawer, every nook, every cranny, every moment of your schedule- perfectly organized. Each January 1st I bust out my Franklin Planner and grab my boot straps and try to put first things first. But then someone calls and needs to talk, or I remember its my cousin’s birthday, or I decide its a perfect day to stop by H & M.
You see my dilemma, don’t you?
I’m a mess.
I have not hijacked Carlos blog to justify my laziness, or make excuses for why Proverbs 31 didn’t really mean ALL of those verses that haunt me at night. In fact, I’m still trying and growing and failing in my quest.
But what I am learning on this crazy journey of life is that being “good from far, but far from good” is really no good at all. Wrapping everything up in a pretty bow, doesn’t make it pretty.
And I’m learning that I’m not always pretty.
And these truths apply to more than just my ability to put my home together, or show up on time. Its roots go down into my heart.
My desire to live out an image of perfection is changing.
I’m learning to be okay with the mess, for now.
I’ve discovered that projecting an image of perfection only does a few things:
1. Reminds me that I’m living a lie.
2. Puts friends at a distance and keeps them from confiding in me with their struggles.
3. Keeps me from having a place to run when I struggle too.
I’m learning to be okay with the mess.
I’ve found freedom in the mess.
I’m loved in the middle of my mess.
I finally discovered that I wasn’t really fooling Him anyway.
And in the end He is all that matters.
He loves me in my mess.
And in that love, I’m transformed.
I know you probably have your stuff together, but let’s just say you don’t…
How do you navigate the messes in your life?
Do you hide them?
Do you embrace them?
You can read more from my assistant at her blog Metromom.org and at ScottsdaleMomsBlog.com
RAIN IT DOWN
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and realizing the more I am honest about my messes, the easier it is for the Lord to work in me and the easier it is for the Lord to work through me in other people’s lives. Every time I am honest, I am blessed and I’m finding that the transparency is blessing others too.
Thanks for sharing!
I am such a mess.
thank you for breathing grace into the expectations we put on ourselves.
Your honesty and heart is gorgeous.
Love this! Thanks!
I know I’m mess and own up to it whole heartedly… Have realized that I need help to get out of my mess and am trying to find the right people to help me… slow process, but it’s working.. I’ll be a mess in cleaning process for a while… Oh well..
Thank you Los. I still owe you tacos… and now you get the big ones. LOL.
NO seriously… I can’t portray perfection, and there are those I know who are humble when it’s convenient, distance themselves from others because they might be “seen” and end up destroying everything they are working so hard to build because of it. It’s heartbreaking to watch the cycle…
I’m just a mess, but God uses me regardless.
I’m amaze at how much I learn from women in all age ranges. You are so wise beyond your years. I try to remember that I am a work in progress <3
I am a freaking mess.
and i struggle greatly with embracing it… But i am only kinda good at hiding it really.
this post makes me think of the book Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist. In this book she talks about how we hide our messes and our issues with letting people see them.
I love that episode too! I feel like my car is like your closet.. This was a great post, thank you.
I just let my messy self be known. Sometimes I do try to keep certain messy aspects about me stay hidden but it’s true, God does know all about my “hidden” messy crap anyway.
So glad He loves me even though I’m a mess. Thanks for sharing!
Im thankful for my friends that call out my messes and love me inspite of them.. Your words ring true, well said.
Im really good at hiding my messes. The only one who isnt fooled is the only one that matters. SOooO After reading this i realize its kind of pointless for me to hide my stuff from God. BTW thats a great episode
Thanks for being so transparent. I struggle everyday to clean up the messes in my life. I work full time, I take classes online, I teach classes at church, I am the secretary for Center of the Mark Outdoor ministries and I have three kids and a husband. There are never enough hours in the day to keep things up around the house. Recently my husband said, “Hey, you like to get on the computer to relax. Why don’t you start a blog?” I realize though that God doesn’t care about our messes in our home, Ok He doesn’t want us to be slothful but the little stuff is no big deal. It’s the messes in our hearts He wants us to clean up. So I know that as long as I seek Him with my whole heart everything else will be ok.
Amen!
Love it! Well said, Noelle.