We have a way about us.
We have a way around us.
We have a way throughout us.
We, in all our humanity, have figured out how to take something so small, so tiny, so non essential, and turn it into the singular thing that takes us down.
It’s our greatest gift and our strongest curse.
Our ability to process.

Yesterday I tweeted this…
Our ability as humans to make an uncrossable valley out of a crack in the sidewalk is one of a kind. Step Back. Look Again. Step Over. Walk.

Today you are facing what seems like a giant.
It may actually be a giant.
It probably is not.

But if it is a giant follow this procedure…
When you are standing at the foot of a giant, and looking straight up, you can not see the entire situation correctly.
Turn around. Walk back away from the giant, turn back and face the giant, and now you can see the whole giant.
Not just his shoe.
When you do this you will find things you could not see from below him.
Like he’s blind.
He is asleep.
He is friendly.
The truth of this giant is far different seeing him from a distance than seeing him from up close.

Now if you turned around after your walk away, and you can’t see anything, it’s because it wasn’t a giant.
It was a lego man that your 3 year old left in the hallway.
You probably stepped on it in the middle of the night and cussed because it hurt for a second.
But it’s not a giant.
It’s a toy.
Now continue on your way and always stop, breathe, step back, and walk.

The giants will morph back into the toys they really are.
Los

And let me tell you something.
No one can get up from being hit, until they have been hit.
Resolve doesn’t come from an easy life.
It comes from those moments above.
And I’m here to tell you, those moments I listed above…
As true as they will be in the moment…
They will pale to the moment you realize that you did not cower, run, or hide.
They will pale to the moment you realize that there is more inside of you that you ever dreamed.

They will pale to the moment, you stand.

So bring on those truths.
They will be true in their moment.
But they will not be true for a lifetime.
Be Brave And Stand
Los

I watch the Bachelor.
I get beat the hell up for it.
“How could you watch such a demeaning show to women?”
“How can you watch such trash?”

Let me give you the reasons I LOVE to watch the bachelor.

1.  I think Christians need to see the direct parallel between sanctification and the story of these women finding their faith in the Bachelor.
You see when we find our true selves…

I’m kidding.
Calm down.
Take a chill out tablet

1.  I watch the Bachelor for the same response and reaction that I enjoy when watching The Walking Dead.
I mean, if you could just watch me, and not watch the television, you would not be able to tell the difference in my facial expressions.

Carnage.
Humans walking around without brains.

2.  The tears.
To watch girls tonight crying after they have been rejected by a man they knew for 2 hours.
There is no better television.
Well.  Besides Virgin Diaries…
Don’t pull the “Carlos, you wouldn’t want your daughters on that show one day crying…” line.
You know why?
Because if they are on that show, them and I would have already had the longest talk of their lives…and they would have chosen this disaster on their own.
Kinda like I did when I was on Blind Date.

3.  The producers.
Please close your eyes if you don’t want to know the truth about reality television.
It’s fake.
It’s all fake.
On my episode of LA Ink, I auditioned 3 times, and then walked into the shop 4 times and they already had my artwork, and they had me have specific conversations.
Gasp.
The only thing real about it was my tattoo and the beauty who did it.
Hannah and my conversation formed an amazing friendship over 13 hours and the tattoo is real.
But EVERYTHING else is set up.
Just like The Bachelor.
I’m more than convinced that they already know who is going to win and so do the girls.
So it’s just another good evening soap opera.
My parents had Dallas, Knots Landing, and Falcon Crest.
I have The Bachelor, Wife Swap, and the Republican debates.
All fake yet good television.

So there you have it.
I wanna know your honest opinion for yourself.
Do you watch this stuff?
The “reality” tv.
The Bachelor?
Why or why not?
Los

It’s a slippery slope we are walking on.
There are some AMAZING things about social media and how we share our lives.
But we have to fight the things that will ultimately destroy our reality.
What you get from me and what I get from you is what we choose to show each other.
Let’s never forget that the truth behind who each of us is, is FAR from the truth buried inside of our LCD screens.
Let’s share our lives, but not lose our souls.
It’s better that way.
Los

Today ragamuffins…
Fall, scream, walk, confuse, mistake, wreck, and fear.
All of this makes you better.
All of it.
When was your last stumble?
Los

The conversation went something like this…

“Babe. Look at Sohaila!
DIVA!
I mean seriously. She’s got it.
She is soooo me!
I love it.”

“Yea. So how are we gonna fix that?” Ali responded.

I call her “Ali” because at that moment, she unknowingly pulled back her left arm, clenched her fist, and went Ali on my face.

“How are we gonna fix that?! What the hell does that mean?!! Fix what?!! Fix Awesomeness?!!”

“Yes. Fix awesomeness.”

The conversation unraveled from there.

It only took 30 more seconds for me to know what she was talking about.
That is about as long as it took me to pull my head out from inside my arse.

The confidence. The smile. The satisfaction in her being her. All of these things were the things that I was talking about.
And all these things were the things that Heather was not talking about.

What I was talking about was what Heather loves about Sohaila.
What THE WIFE was talking about at that moment was…
The need to be accepted.
The ability to be woo’d.
The need to give love only to those who will take advantage of you and crush you in return.
The ability to take a simple truth and turn it into a nasty lie.
The need to make out with anything that has boobs.
Well that was my problem. Not hers.
The ability to win the entire room over all the while thinking about the next room.
The need to find satisfaction in someone else’s failing.
The ability to take credit for someone else’s work.

Can I stop now? Cause I can go for days.
That is what she was talking about.

With all the awesomeness you bestow upon your children, they also get your crap.
They get the things that make you have a hard time looking yourself in the mirror at night.
But they are not stuck with this.
Because in the end, they, are not you.
They just are stuck watching you.

Let your kids bring the change in your life you want to see in theirs.
It’s better that way.
Los

You turn 8 today.  You have seen me cry 7 times and it’s only 9:15 am.
You don’t even ask why anymore.
You just hug me and say you are still gonna dance with me when you’re 18.
You are walking that fine line of still coloring pictures of kittens yet giggling with all your friends when they boy walks into church.
You completely wreck me.
So while I still have it in me, here are a few thoughts I don’t ever want to forget to tell you.

1.  The way you learned to roll your eyes at 2.  Roll them bigger, slower, and nastier.  You can steal someones soul with that move and destroy it right before their eyes.  It’s gonna come in useful one day, but while you are in my house…don’t you dare roll them at me or your mother, or you will feel your butt crushed right before your eyes.
2.  Your mothering tendencies do not go unnoticed.  I might get annoyed by it, but if were not for you, I would have left your brother at preschool 32 times, burnt the house down 7 times, and forgotten your mom’s birthday 1 time.
3.  You are gorgeous.  I mean like seriously.  Remember yesterday when I was shooting skeet at Mr. Pete’s farm?  Remember how I took that shotgun and hit 4 out of 8 skeet?  Well trust me, I’ll go 12 for 12 if they lay a hand on you.
4.  I’m not an idiot.  They are going to lay a hand on you one day.  Just remember when your heart is beating out of your chest during your first kiss, your dad’s heart beats harder for you.  Enjoy the kiss.  Keep his hands above your neck please.
5.  In the next few years you are going to run into some really mean girls.  I know you.  You could destroy them with a string of words that would make Kanye cry.  Especially after what he did to Taylor.  But I also know that you’re ability to win people with that smile of yours will win you some elections one day.  Win those girls.  Don’t lose them.
6.  You’re highs are heavenly and your lows are hell.  This is completely my fault.  You didn’t get much from me besides your brown skin.  But this I gave you.  If, and when you have to talk to someone about it, take a little white pill because of it, or cuss someone out because of it, call dad.
7.  When you laugh, do it from your belly and do it loud.  When you cry, do it from your gut and feel the pain hard.  When you dance, don’t dance like nobody is watching, dance like everybody is watching and blow their minds.  When you kiss, make him know that he will never feel lips like yours again.  When you fight, roll your neck until it almost snaps and if you lose, take that loss and don’t ever lose the same way again.  When you put your head to sleep at night, be pissed off if you are not completely exhausted from living hard all day.
8.  I’ll stop here cause, well, you’re eight…
You are being raised by a dad who loves Jesus maybe a little different than other daddies love Jesus.  Not less.  Just different.  So when you begin to start exploring your beliefs, your questions, your heartbeats, and your complications, you can talk to me.  I want Jesus for you with everything inside of me. But I’m not going to force Jesus on you with an ounce of pressure.  If you can’t figure it out by watching me, then no word I give is going to convince you.  Find your faith how you need to find her.  It may scare the shi+ out of me, but then again, it’s not about me. Oh.  And please don’t say shit.  It’s really crude and I’m working on it…

I love you Seanna Jess Whittaker.

Happy birthday.
Daddy.